roller coaster
it was too good to be true. i'd been feeling really good for about a week or so. i mean, all things considered given the funeral, etc. but i was feeling really good inside aside from that. but in the last 12 hours or so, this sort of mellow, somber, reality feeling has set in. i know what it has to do with (read: boy). i think i've hit the point in my crush, as i do with all of them, where being realistic starts to outweigh the happy, joyful feeling of liking someone new. the new feeling manifests itself as a little voice in the back of my head telling me the crush is ridiculous, it would never work out, etc. etc. etc. just as a new crush makes me happy, the prospect of having to give up the crush, or having it not work out, makes me sad. usually, i can get out of my head, out of this cycle, by going to the gym. unfortunately, i think that will only exacerbate the situation here. ahh, gym crush makes me go to the gym more, but then in the end, may only bite me in the ass. good thing we'll all be on new schedules soon.