Sunday, August 28, 2005

decisions
While I had the most fabulous of fabulous times in LA last week, I realized when I got back to Boston that I was feeling incredibly insecure the entire time I was there. That I was fat and ugly and disgusting and walking on the street made me feel awful. When I got back home, I felt more ... average. That is not to say that people here are uglier than Los Angelinos. Maybe they are. Maybe they are b/c they get less plastic surgery. But the point is, even if it's retarded, I felt fat and disgusting in LA.

For a few days I've been thinking that maybe working in LA next summer wouldn't be a good idea. Who wants to feel fat and insecure all the time? Can't be good for my self-esteem. But then I realized today, well, that'd be a retarded reason not to go to LA. Because by that logic, I should go to Dallas b/c I think that's the fattest city in America and where I would likely feel the best about myself. (Although I've been to DFW more times than I care to count and nothing about that place makes me feel good...) This realization was affirmed tonight when my friend, who loves LA, told me his friend's philosophy on the city. You have to find the fabulousness in you and affirm that and work on those features. So yeah, I will never be super model hot, but there are definitely fabulous things about me. So yeah, I could probably live in LA. A lot of my close friends live there so it'd be silly not to, frankly.

I kinda just wanted to write something b/c I can't believe that last post is taking up space in this universe.

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