Friday, May 30, 2003

creepy night
went to see the matrix tonight, and it was an amazing movie. my stomach hurt when i got out of the theatre because i had been so tense throughout the film, i think. now, it's 2am and i'm thoroughly exhausted but i can't sleep. i think it has something to do with the howling wind that's giving me the creeps. add to that my already weird state from seeing the matrix and from getting back from a two-day kayaking trip on lake tarawera, and anxiety from my upcoming departure and some romantic wah i seem to have predictably gotten myself into, and i'm just totally nutty. i REALLY should just slap on my headphones and try and get some sleep.

things are starting to look good for my possible return, if that's what i want to do. but i've decided not to make that decision until i'm standing on american soil. but it's good to know that i have friends and possible work waiting for me if i do come back ... if this wind doesn't just blow this place off the face of the earth. and there's always more "training", i suppose. now, all i have to do is see what my parents say ... for crying out loud, i'm 26 years old and still need the approval of my parents. oy vey. the burden of being chinese.

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

i went to see an astrologer last week -- in the pathetic attempt of finding some direction in life -- and one of the things she told me was that when we are happy, we accumulate fat in our bellies. i've had a pretty good time here, so if i come home fatter than when i left, just chalk it up to me having a great time and being happy, and nothing to do with the copious amounts of alcohol finding a home in my tummy.

so the update...

last week i took the written exam for DiveCon and passed! 94%. Not quite what I wanted, but still the highest mark in the class. once i get my 60 dives in, andrew (who has turned into an amazing grump) will sign me off for DiveCon, and I can be done with this godforsaken institution. this week i'm finishing up sea kayaking (which is stupid and boring as hell) and then i'm going to dive my ass off until i leave. only 4 out of the 11 people in my class passed.

speaking of which, the local paper is running a series of articles on local businesses and one of the first was on mark scapens and adventure education, where i'm receiving my training. the lede described our boat, the adventurekoru, pulling up to the dock after a trip to Mayor Island and all these "'second-chance' learners" disembarking. umm, hello, that was my class! holy shit, man, i'm pissed off for so many reasons. i will be the first to admit that some of my classmates may not be the most academically-oriented people, but who the fuck are these stupid newspaper people to judge? and then to use it as a blanket statement. Ooh man, it's been a big controversy here.

but fuck that shit. this past weekend i went to auckland with a few of my classmates and a friend from hamilton. i went for the purpose of fighting at the nz tkd nationals, and my friends came along to show some support and to party. we had a pretty good time, too, but being in the city and drinking a sour-apple martini in a dark, trendy bar only made me miss nyc more. oh, and i did win my fight, but i'm not sure i should have. i didn't fight nearly as well as i have in the past, and that may have something to do with my lack of training, and quality training at that.

as for my future...the astrologer did say that coming back to nz would be a good thing. now is apparently still a good time for training, so i'm thinking of coming back and doing an instructor's course, but probably not with adventure education. good lord, i'd be crazy to let them have a second-chance at my money after they've done nothing but fuck up our course. and i'm overwhelmed by this feeling that if i had done a similar course in the states, i may not have been treated to such great scenery, but it probably would have been run better.

that's it for now.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

i have now realized why there are fewer and fewer people on AIM everyday...

CONGRATS to everyone for finishing another academic year! congrats to the grads who are now entering the world with a/another degree under their belts. YIPPEE!!

aww i miss you guys.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

4 weeks of course and 1 week of holiday to go.

things I'm looking forward to:
pizza by the slice
Korean Food
Momma's cooking
Any food with spices
smart people

Thursday, May 08, 2003

airline ticket
i have my plane ticket in hand, so all should be good. it turns out, too, that i'm going to go to nz taekwondo nationals after all. there has been much debate and rescheduling with my classmates and they've all agreed to move the "break-up" at the end of course to another weekend. a few people are even going to come with me to auckland so they can party. with me. and cheer me on. i haven't been training particularly hard, but i'll just have to make up for it with some extra-intense training.

i have resolved to be a complete pain in the ass of adventure education over the next several weeks until my course ends. so far i have managed to help get our course extended two weeks because we've been shafted on the sea kayaking part of our course. most recently, i've managed to help get my class on an overnight boat trip to mayor island, some of the best diving in the region with visibilities up to 50 meters or something like that. one of the biggest problems was scheduling and getting in all the academic time for divecon. the thing that i was fucked about was the fact that me and two of my classmates were the only people not offered a trip to the island, whereas EVERYONE around us was getting it. so that's that.

i still can't wait to come home. but i'm still considering coming back. i have to admit that it is a really idyllic place.

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

kim chi
oh god. i bought kimchi yesterday and i'm now in heaven. oh god. mmmmm....nearly orgasmic. i can't wait to come home and eat my momma's cooking. and drink martinis. i kind of want to cry. i'm so tired of being treated like shit by dumbass guys who i'm better than anyways. yes i know that's so stuck-up but fer cryin' out loud it's the godforsaken truth...sigh.