emotions
i had a realization today while talking with a friend that i want to share with you. this is kind of emotional, but please indulge me. eh, you already are if you are visiting this site.

the last day or two i've been doing a lot better in terms of having my emotions under control, a little more rational (not for long), just closing the new york chapter, ready to start the new zealand chapter, perhaps to reopen the new york chapter a few months from now. before then, however, i was clinging to my new york chapter with everything, not realizing that people don't necessarily think like i. so while i was trying fiercely to have everyone i know be everywhere at every moment, i didn't see how other people could not be like that. i'm not being greedy or selfish or clingy or anything. well, maybe a little clingy. but i feel like my time is so short i just want everyone there all the time. can you understand that? does this make any sense?