an email never sent
I have had a lot of thoughts going through my head, and a lot of different emotions. It's not so much that I'm suppressing them, I think now, but that I'm experiencing a lot of them, and don't know how to digest them and deal with them. I doubt and wonder a lot. A LOT. And I often try to rationalize and explain away things, but that doesn't always work, because I'm still left with feelings. I think too much. Sometimes I need to see not just the safety net before I jump off a cliff, but also the backup net, the emergency crew, and all my friends and loved ones standing there, gazing up at me, hoping and expecting the best for me.