Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Vagueness Due to Infiltration

Vagueness Due to Possible Infiltration


I feel like I'm on the edge of a crevasse. The jump to the other side is just at the boundaries of my proven abilities, but maybe that's just from this perspective, because the fear of the crevasse makes every jump seem longer. I feel good, though, and I think I can make the jump. And jumping over to the other side, well, I don't know what's over there, but I kind of want to find out. Because it's forward, and forward is good, and forward is the direction to go.

But at the same time, I feel like every time I have attempted a similar jump, I've fallen into the crevasse and gotten my ass royally kicked. The last jump, it was small, it was tiny, it looked so easy and natural. Maybe I didn't fall into the crevasse so much as get pushed in, but it was a giant tumble down and I'm not quite recovered from it. In fact, it seems that every jump I make, someone is on the other side waiting to push me down the crevasse.

When I put it in these terms, I see that the thing to do is to jump. Forward, always forward, always to discover more, new terrain. But, I kind of wish I knew whether there was someone was on the other side waiting for me, or whether that person is waiting to help me fall.

[This isn't really that vague, is it? Heh.]

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