Tuesday, October 03, 2006

A New Experience

A New Experience

Inexplicably lost in conversation for two hours. We couldn't end this if we wanted to. So we'll make the best of it.

I've already said so much. I'm not sure I have anything else to say.

This was all bad timing. I wasn't expecting to meet you. I like you.

Meeting me was good?

Yes. I want to spend time with you.

What does that mean? How would we do that?

We'll hang out. In groups, and whatever. Just, we won't drink alone. That was ok before, but it's not really ok now.

Yeah. The not drinking alone part is a good idea. But the rest, it's not going to be easy. I'm not looking forward to seeing you guys together again, as I inevitably will. And this is my last year, I made a conscious choice to be more social. I'm going to have fun.

I'll do my best not to make it awkward.

I'm sorry, I have baggage. This is the third time; this is too familiar. I know part of this isn't you at all.

I know. I'm sorry, I have baggage, too. I know where you are; I know it's not easy.

Why is honesty so hard to find in people?

I know. I look around at people and see all the infidelity.

People just can't control their liquor...Just...don't regret this. That would be sad.

I don't. This was bad timing. Which is odd because it's been so long since I've been in a relationship.

Me too. Sometimes, when it rains, it pours.

I'm paying for dinner, because I'm a douchebag.


Well, this is a new place for me. This limbo. This unconsummatedness. It feels weird, but could be good. It could be good for me to have the friendship, attraction and laughter, but keep my hands off. It's something I should have been doing, but never have. And this is good b/c I'm not really one who meddles in other people's relationships - at least not with the intention of breaking the relationship up, because sometimes I meddle by giving bad, bad advice. This is scary. And this is sad. And yet, my life is still more joyful for having met him. So I'm also happy.

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