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I feel old
I’m taking this intermediate climbing class and my instructor has been discussing the possibility of entering competitions. You know, I just got done talking (with my interviewers) about how I gave up taekwondo because I couldn’t dedicate as much time to it as I wanted. And with the focus on competition, there was a lot of time (and emotional energy) dedicated to it and I didn’t want to do it half-assed. But I’ve substituted taekwondo, at least its exercise aspect, with other sports, such as swimming and rock climbing. I do not want to turn rock climbing into the new taekwondo. That would change things too much, and I like it where it is. But there’s a part of me that wants to. What is wrong with me? Why am I so competitive? Why does competition always end up being part of my life? It’s weird.

I’m not going to swim class today so I can get work done for my afternoon class. I’m also feeling really worn out. My body aches everywhere. Shoulders, arms, forearms. I’m also going to miss Thursday’s class. That might put me behind on Thursday, but I’m ok with that. Again, there are people in that class that make me feel competitive. And the whole concept of circle swimming – it’s like there’s always someone chasing you. Blech.

Unfortunately, I can feel myself getting fatter already. Sigh.

Update: today, the things I have eaten include a whopper, french fries, instant ramen, and (now) wine. UGH.