i am racist
i was out with some friends in nyc last week, and i brought up how i found it odd that some korean people, especially the younger ones, were really into emulating black rap and r&b stars. i said that they pretty much seemed to want to be black, tried to be black, and even used words i thought weren't appropriate for people that were not black. like 'nigga'. i swear. some korean guy was talking to me and he started calling his korean friends 'niggas'. i was sort of offended. and i thought the guy and this whole part of the korean culture was ridiculous.

my friends intelligently pointed out to me that it was a cultural thing. it wasn't so much that these korean people were trying to be black, but they were trying to adopt a culture, and in some ways, that culture was more theirs than strict korean culture. my friend mentioned that she had some friends who grew up in predominantly black parts of town and identified more with black culture than with korean culture.

and i was silenced. i never thought about this, but i think inherent in my ignorance was a racist undertone. some sort of assumption that if korean people were around this black culture, they shouldn't want to adopt it because it's inferior. i think a part of me looks down on black culture/people in some ways.

this is definitely something to be aware of. and it's something i should change. but please forgive me and my racist tendencies. i own up to my own deficiencies, but it's not like i had the best role models. my parents are full fledged racists, and i do my best to not be like them in that regard.

but, on a related note, why do people get so offended when i use certain words, like weird, and stupid and retarded. people take me too literally. i think for me, i say things, i'll say anything, talk about anything. like how on monday, i went to student health services and within ten minutes, i was stuck with a needle for my first hep B vaccine and a very large black woman was poking and prodding me. and i mean the inside of me. ouch. but why should stuff like that be taboo? and just because i call something weird, i'm not judging it. i think my point is, i say things that sound mean or judgmental, but the intent to be mean or judgmental isn't there. it's just a word. like when i call my friend fat, or make fat jokes, i don't really mean it. even if bobby is fat, it doesn't mean i dislike him, or judge him for being fat. it's just a fact. why not be honest about it? but some people are so shocked! i guess this is the old pc debate. i'm not really for pc-ness in my personal life. as long as the intent to be racist or demeaning isn't there, you can say whatever you want. if the word "nigger" can be reclaimed, why can't fag, homo, fat-ass, etc. be reclaimed too?