hello, 2003
no dinner + drinking cheap vodka = lying in a bathtub puking on yourself

i thought this was the drunkest i have ever gotten, but then i remembered my friend's wedding. again, lying on the floor of a bathroom in a dress, but that time the dress cost $400 and was a vera wang, go blow it out your ass stupid designer label shit. it was an ugly scene and i was lucky.

the lowest point of the night for him: midnight, he and she were literally pressed up against me making out. my lowest point of the night: curled up in the bathtub crying my eyes out, calling him a fucking asshole. i lost control. alcohol is a depressant.

why does he try to apologize to my friends? it's me he needs to apologize to. it's me he needs to contend with. five months and i may look at him as a human being again. time is his only hope. time and the goodness of my heart. b/c even though i was calling him a fucking asshole and blubbering in the bathtub, i was told, that i kept saying over and over again that i'm going to be the good person in this situation. i want to be good and compassionate and forgiving. i also don't want him to have any reason to say that he was justified....although the sloppy drunk part is a little too late.

ahh, good times. my liver will one day regret this.

in other news, i'm really really freaking out about going to new zealand.