good idea, bad idea
did you ever watch animaniacs, the cartoon?

this new zealand thing sounded like such a good idea at the time, in may, when i started looking into it. i wanted out of here. i loved my trip so much i HAD to go back. but the joy and excitement i experienced from that trip are faint intangible memories and the things that are in the forefront of my mind are how much i'm going to miss my friends, and how nervous, sad and scared i am. there's a big part of me that wants to back out because the feelings are too overwhelming but i know that i would wake up and really hate myself for backing out. fear, sadness and nerves have rarely made me back out of things and i more often than not manage to muddle through and have a great time. i know the same will happen here. i just need to get there.