something is amiss...but i don't know what
I am thoroughly convinced that yes, it is in fact me that is fucked up. Not boys. How many times do I have to go through the same twisted moronic dance before I own up to my issues? However many times it's been, I'm ready. Yes, I'm fucked up. I could say I need to grow up more, but there's only so much time before I essentially start ... growing down. Maybe 30. I'll aim for 30. By 30, I'll be perfection. Or something.

On top of that, I am withdrawing. Withdrawing from my friends, withdrawing from the norm. I am making different friends, new friends, initiating with old friends I don't normally see. I am incredibly unhappy, and it's making me edgy. (But somewhat productive. You wouldn't believe how much work I got done this weekend.)

A friend told me today that he is going to San Diego. The guy has never lived there, never worked there, yet he got an offer from a firm there. Lucky shit. Being an engineer helps, but besides that, I'm so jealous. But then again, I've been there and back again. The challenge for me is to stay in one place and deal with my life instead of running away from it. Stay the course.