A sign...?
I'm going through another phase of insecurity and self-doubt. I wake up after a night on the town and think about how I was a total idiot the night before. I say something in class and immediately think what I said added zero value to the world.

I think I've changed a lot in the last 1.5 years since I've started law school. On the one hand, I'm a lot more insecure, particularly lately. On the other hand, I'm a lot more aggressive. I say things and am sort of snippy with people where I think I was slightly gentler about it before. Or maybe I'm just as snippy and my insecurity makes me perceive myself as snippier. I also compare myself to other people a lot, which is never a good thing.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, about how I've changed, which is why I'm bringing it up now (again), tho' it's kind of late in the game. I think at the root of is law school dynamic, the competition, the constant sense of comparison. It's somehow needled its way into my persona and being and perceptions of self-worth.

Lobotomize me, and get it out! I want to be the old me!

Then again, maybe I should take a long hard read of this dirty ole thing and see if I really have changed in law school, or if it's law school just amplifying characteristics that have always been there. Perhaps a task for Thanksgiving, which starts as soon as my class gets out at 5:45!

I was walking towards school from the gym and was kind of in a foul mood because of the weather. And then I noticed these like 5 greyhound buses lined up at a corner. And then I thought about all the students that are traveling home this week, all the families that will be welcoming them home, feeding, pampering and loving their studious kids. (Although at this school, I think the kids tend to party more than study...) And I was overcome with a happy, warm feeling. I love Thanksgiving. All that food and family and tradition ... Although my family has no tradition, my mom has already told me that she's going to take care of me when I come home this weekend. Should offset the trauma of my TEN YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION. ACK!