mortality part the second
my friend's father died in a motorcycle accident in a state that is very far away from home. he was on a vacation/road trip. i think there was a deer involved. i haven't really gotten the details because my friend didn't have the details because her mother was far too emotional to tell her. the father. he was a character. he had a very large presence. i think he terrorized a lot of us growing up b/c he was quite intimidating, but i remember spending a lot of time at this friend's house and her father was, while intimidating and loud, also quite welcoming of me into his home. he was also very influential. not in a wordly powerful sense, but i think my friend takes after him in a lot of ways. his presence will be missed greatly.

one of the last times i talked to him -- well, i was in the car with my friend and he was on the phone with her -- he laid out my life. he's a laywer. he likes to quiz me on torts -- well, he did once and ever since then, i feel like i have to brush up on my law knowledge just to be around him. he says i should be a freelance memo writer. then i could live anywhere and work whenever, but still make enough bucks to have a house in the mountains by a lake. it was funny that he got a good sense of my personality/lifestyle/desires.

he is a big part of my friend's life. she says he calls every day. he called even while he was on this ill-fated road trip. he helped my friend out a lot when she moved here last summer. and i think that's going to be really tough -- my friend is independent enough, but her father really helped her take care of things. guided her a lot. in addition to missing his presence and his being, i think this is going to be a big step for her in terms of entering adulthood. i think she's really going to have to step up and fill his role in a way for her mother and younger brother, and that's going to make it even harder.

my friend, she said the last thing she talked about with her father was how she was bored at jury duty. i like that. i don't know how she feels about it, but i like that her last conversation with her father was ordinary and mundane. it wasn't a fight, but you also can't expect to profess your undying love and affection at every phone call. i think he knew she loves him. and i think she knows he loves her.

while she was getting ready to go to the airport this morning, she decided to wear the jewelry he had bought her. she put the precious stones on her ears, her finger and her wrist. it was so sad. a visible sign of mourning. a visible sign of what she has lost. not to say that all her dad was good for was for buying her jewels, but ... i don't know, i think it has to do with the whole adulthood thing. her father is never going to buy her another piece of jewelry again. she's going to have to do that herself. growing up. really. this is going to be the second funeral in two weeks. i don't like these reminders of reality, of growing up. i know tragic car accidents aren't necessarily signs of aging, but the loss of a parent ... i don't know. this isn't about me. but i'm kind of in shock. i'm afraid that in a week from now, the saying that tragedy happens in threes is going to come true. maybe i should go call my parents.