friday
went out with some friends and played some pool. while i was getting change for the table, i made friends with some middle aged men who had just gotten out of the baseball game around the corner. thankfully they weren't in a fighting spirit as the home team lost to the all-time-rival team. it was nice making friends with strangers. i love talking to strangers. i think i also kind of like talking to middle-aged men. maybe it just makes me feel young ... and kind of attractive. maybe that's why i'm going to the midnight harry potter release party at b&n. "to pick up single dads" i say with a laugh. am i kidding? maybe not. but really i am b/c i don't really pick up men. i just have crushes on them and obsess about them. like gym boy. oh gym boy. he works at the gym. he's cute; some might say 'hot'. but he's probably 18. and in reality, i'm probably going to the harry potter release so i can get the harry potter book and start reading it as soon as i get home. forget uncle tom's cabin. no one else in Book Club East is reading it either!

i can't believe the summer is half over! my real summer plans haven't even started yet. next weekend i go camping, then to p-town, then in august i'm off to LA for five days. yeay! then hit the books. blergh.

last night, while kind of buzzed (b/c who plays pool without beer?), i sent off my resume for some minority job fair. yes, i'm a minority. but that's not the point . . . i think i'm starting to flirt with the dark side -- big firm law. argh! not corporate law. but working at a big firm.

if you add up all the money i've made in my entire life, since i started working at 16 or so, i don't think i've made more than like $70,000. I could nearly double that in one year working at a big firm. or even a mid-sized firm. is that ridiculous? yes. and while my dream going into law school was to save the world, i don't think i can handle paying off my debt working for barely $40K (if i'm lucky) and sustain myself at the same time. i don't want to sell out, but i'm quite torn. right now, i'm only concerned about next summer, as all this job recruiting stuff is for our 2L summer. but ... i feel like once i get a foot in, there may be no coming back. am i just fooling myself when i say i'm only going to do it for a few years to pay off debt and to get some street cred before working for some big environmental group? maybe i WANT to sell out so i can get a nice apartment and buy pretty things. bah! it's friday. a gloriously beautiful day and i have much work to do.