is your life lacking drama? nothing interesting going on? well, give me a call and i'll create some for you! want gossip? got it covered. want crushes? i'm a pro -- i can maintain several at once! want booze? i'm a great drinking partner. want a party? i can gather a bunch of friends at the drop of a hat. drama, drama, drama! stories to tell at the water cooler or coffee line the next day! just give me a call! services rendered free, though libations are appreciated.