developing an alcohol problem
there is nothing like blogging at 3am, after a nice hard night of raucous drinking.
it WAS st patrick's day in boston. even a confused asian girl like me can be irish. I EVEN GOT TO HAVE GREEN BEER. but again, (hap) is struck with the problem that she is everyone's friend and no one's lover. but god loves me and that should be enough. but sometimes it doesn't feel like enough and that is hard.
i left the bar at 12:30ish, when the T stopped running, and took a cab across town to meet an LLM friend. she's from hong kong. she's so cool and hot. and i got to finish the night up with the LLMs. but again, (hap) was the facilitator and not the facilitated. i'm trying not to take it personally, but it's really hard. why do i keep talking in the third person?
when i took the cab, i pretty much had the best taxi driver ever. his name was salah. he moved here from baghdad 16 years ago. just the thought of it makes me want to cry. it was like he peered into my (drunken) soul and knew things about me that were so sensitive. He kept the light on and talked to me about how i was sensitive and that i shouldn't compromise for a guy. that age doesn't matter. pretty much that love transcends, but i shouldn't compromise. my drunken self soaked it up as a serious affirmation. after which, i was promptly faced with this emotional, somewhat clingy guy who kissed my friend and then wanted the dirt from me.
it's hard not to take it all personally, that there is a flaw with me.
ok, on that note, i'm going to go to bed.