million, billion...
on the advice of a friend, i have downloaded and installed trillian. it takes MSN, ICQ, AIM, and Yahoo! and puts them all into one interface program thingamabob. i'm still getting used to it but it's pretty damn neat so far. I was having a big problem with AIM -- it was really unstable and I'd get booted in the middle of a conversation and I couldn't tell if someone was ignoring me or just that i hadn't received the message.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
tag, you're it
i know you're out there, so why don't you just leave a message in one of the many forums for messages. to your left, you can see the tag board. below this message, there is a comment button. just do it. you know you wanna.
currently obsessed with other people's blogs. have done the crossword puzzle addiction, the zuma addiction, now it's other people's blogs. especially other law students. have found out that at other schools, they're called gunners. makes sense. classhole is pretty regional-specific.
sua sponte
falconred
color of law
ditzy genius
i don't think these are particularly good or bad blogs. they're just blogs of other law students.
in other news, the fire alarm went off in the middle of crim. at first, i was kinda looking around like, do we ignore that? i mean, i often ignore fire alarms. (sounds dangerous, i know.) but then a classmate quickly stood up and said, 'well, let's go!' his concern for our safety thinly veiling his excitement. who am i kidding. he had a giant grin on his face.
we got an email from the dean soon after the drill was over. turns out someone was doing some work and something they did set off something that set off the fire alarm. this has replaced the sheduled drill for later in the semester, she said, but please send comments her way about how it went.
uhh, do you think it would be inappropriate to say, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE IF WE EVER HAVE A REAL FIRE b/c it took me 10 minutes to get out of the room and then another 10 to get down the stairs? maybe after she officially rejects me from her research assistant position.
i need to watch the towering inferno. i think kris kristofferson was the 47th person rescued in that movie...i might be getting my pomoniana mixed up, though.
in still other news, my evite has been sent for my birthday party. so freaking excited. i love my birthday. the only day of the year that i can be obnoxiously self-centered and not have to apologize. every other day is riddled with apologies. on that day: ME ME ME. sweeeet.
i know you're out there, so why don't you just leave a message in one of the many forums for messages. to your left, you can see the tag board. below this message, there is a comment button. just do it. you know you wanna.
currently obsessed with other people's blogs. have done the crossword puzzle addiction, the zuma addiction, now it's other people's blogs. especially other law students. have found out that at other schools, they're called gunners. makes sense. classhole is pretty regional-specific.
sua sponte
falconred
color of law
ditzy genius
i don't think these are particularly good or bad blogs. they're just blogs of other law students.
in other news, the fire alarm went off in the middle of crim. at first, i was kinda looking around like, do we ignore that? i mean, i often ignore fire alarms. (sounds dangerous, i know.) but then a classmate quickly stood up and said, 'well, let's go!' his concern for our safety thinly veiling his excitement. who am i kidding. he had a giant grin on his face.
we got an email from the dean soon after the drill was over. turns out someone was doing some work and something they did set off something that set off the fire alarm. this has replaced the sheduled drill for later in the semester, she said, but please send comments her way about how it went.
uhh, do you think it would be inappropriate to say, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE IF WE EVER HAVE A REAL FIRE b/c it took me 10 minutes to get out of the room and then another 10 to get down the stairs? maybe after she officially rejects me from her research assistant position.
i need to watch the towering inferno. i think kris kristofferson was the 47th person rescued in that movie...i might be getting my pomoniana mixed up, though.
in still other news, my evite has been sent for my birthday party. so freaking excited. i love my birthday. the only day of the year that i can be obnoxiously self-centered and not have to apologize. every other day is riddled with apologies. on that day: ME ME ME. sweeeet.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
wow
it's amazing how much work i can get done when i don't spend half the weekend partying and the other half hung over. this has been a nice mellow productive weekend. i've actually got some homework for tuesday done! though my complaint is in a pretty shabby condition.
maybe i'm finding myself again. i actually sat down and wrote a few emails to old friends. and i even watched a movie. and i didn't get wasted on saturday. i tried on friday but was halted in my progress. i don't know what happened. i just wasn't feeling it. was feeling kinda down and schlupping a backpack to a crowded undergrad bar didn't sound very fun. especially as i had been up since 6:30.
went to church today for easter service. this may have been my first easter service ever.
damn it. they had to go and put on a freaking dance performance at the start. hopefully, this is something special they whipped up for the lily crowd. because really there's nothing i hate more than dance shows at church. the whole service was off today b/c they were doing all this special easter stuff. and it just bugged me. i like my church with no frills. i don't like performances. and i like to be able to participate in worship. don't distract me. it's about me and God. it's not about how wonderful everyone on stage can sing or jam.
but i do have to say that i really dig the church. i have been doing a lot of thinking about where i want to go next summer -- which may play a great role in where i end up after graduation -- and i have to say that this church is a factor in considering staying in boston post-JD.
in other news, my birthday is in less than three weeks. YIPPEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
it's amazing how much work i can get done when i don't spend half the weekend partying and the other half hung over. this has been a nice mellow productive weekend. i've actually got some homework for tuesday done! though my complaint is in a pretty shabby condition.
maybe i'm finding myself again. i actually sat down and wrote a few emails to old friends. and i even watched a movie. and i didn't get wasted on saturday. i tried on friday but was halted in my progress. i don't know what happened. i just wasn't feeling it. was feeling kinda down and schlupping a backpack to a crowded undergrad bar didn't sound very fun. especially as i had been up since 6:30.
went to church today for easter service. this may have been my first easter service ever.
damn it. they had to go and put on a freaking dance performance at the start. hopefully, this is something special they whipped up for the lily crowd. because really there's nothing i hate more than dance shows at church. the whole service was off today b/c they were doing all this special easter stuff. and it just bugged me. i like my church with no frills. i don't like performances. and i like to be able to participate in worship. don't distract me. it's about me and God. it's not about how wonderful everyone on stage can sing or jam.
but i do have to say that i really dig the church. i have been doing a lot of thinking about where i want to go next summer -- which may play a great role in where i end up after graduation -- and i have to say that this church is a factor in considering staying in boston post-JD.
in other news, my birthday is in less than three weeks. YIPPEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
RANT ALERT
I OFFICIALLY HATE SPRING. SPRING IN BOSTON IS ELUSIVE AND NON-EXISTENT. I'M GOING TO BE WEARING MY FREAKING UGGS INTO JUNE I SWEAR. WHY IS MY WINTER HAT STILL OUT? WHY HAVEN'T I STARTED WEARING FLIP FLOPS YET? OR SKIRTS? MORE THAN THE WEATHER, I HATE SPRING BECAUSE IT IS A TIME OF LOVEY DOVEY BUTTERFLY FIELDS AND SPRING FLOWERS AND PEOPLE EXERCISING THEIR HORMONES AND THEIR EMOTIONS AND NEW RELATIONSHIPS FILLED WITH ANIME BUBBLES AND DOE-Y EYED OPTIMISM AND ALL THAT BLAH BLAH BLAH. AM I BITTER? NO. BUT THIS IS ALL SO FREAKING DISTRACTING FROM THE 20 PAGES OF CON LAW READING THAT TAKE ME 8 HOURS TO DO.
ok, fine, maybe i am a bit bitter. if i could stomach it, i'd go fire handguns again.
I OFFICIALLY HATE SPRING. SPRING IN BOSTON IS ELUSIVE AND NON-EXISTENT. I'M GOING TO BE WEARING MY FREAKING UGGS INTO JUNE I SWEAR. WHY IS MY WINTER HAT STILL OUT? WHY HAVEN'T I STARTED WEARING FLIP FLOPS YET? OR SKIRTS? MORE THAN THE WEATHER, I HATE SPRING BECAUSE IT IS A TIME OF LOVEY DOVEY BUTTERFLY FIELDS AND SPRING FLOWERS AND PEOPLE EXERCISING THEIR HORMONES AND THEIR EMOTIONS AND NEW RELATIONSHIPS FILLED WITH ANIME BUBBLES AND DOE-Y EYED OPTIMISM AND ALL THAT BLAH BLAH BLAH. AM I BITTER? NO. BUT THIS IS ALL SO FREAKING DISTRACTING FROM THE 20 PAGES OF CON LAW READING THAT TAKE ME 8 HOURS TO DO.
ok, fine, maybe i am a bit bitter. if i could stomach it, i'd go fire handguns again.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Saturday, March 19, 2005
fool me once, the joke's on you
again. with the out there. responding to signals, apparently mixed signals. put myself out there and put it all on the table. ambiguity yet not ambiguity. the biggest problem is feeling like a jerk. feeling will pass. i am a hamster on a wheel. i keep running, keep going, thinking it gets me somewhere. it doesn't, though. when will my little hamster brain and my hamster heart learn the lesson?
again. with the out there. responding to signals, apparently mixed signals. put myself out there and put it all on the table. ambiguity yet not ambiguity. the biggest problem is feeling like a jerk. feeling will pass. i am a hamster on a wheel. i keep running, keep going, thinking it gets me somewhere. it doesn't, though. when will my little hamster brain and my hamster heart learn the lesson?
Friday, March 18, 2005
developing an alcohol problem
there is nothing like blogging at 3am, after a nice hard night of raucous drinking.
it WAS st patrick's day in boston. even a confused asian girl like me can be irish. I EVEN GOT TO HAVE GREEN BEER. but again, (hap) is struck with the problem that she is everyone's friend and no one's lover. but god loves me and that should be enough. but sometimes it doesn't feel like enough and that is hard.
i left the bar at 12:30ish, when the T stopped running, and took a cab across town to meet an LLM friend. she's from hong kong. she's so cool and hot. and i got to finish the night up with the LLMs. but again, (hap) was the facilitator and not the facilitated. i'm trying not to take it personally, but it's really hard. why do i keep talking in the third person?
when i took the cab, i pretty much had the best taxi driver ever. his name was salah. he moved here from baghdad 16 years ago. just the thought of it makes me want to cry. it was like he peered into my (drunken) soul and knew things about me that were so sensitive. He kept the light on and talked to me about how i was sensitive and that i shouldn't compromise for a guy. that age doesn't matter. pretty much that love transcends, but i shouldn't compromise. my drunken self soaked it up as a serious affirmation. after which, i was promptly faced with this emotional, somewhat clingy guy who kissed my friend and then wanted the dirt from me.
it's hard not to take it all personally, that there is a flaw with me.
ok, on that note, i'm going to go to bed.
there is nothing like blogging at 3am, after a nice hard night of raucous drinking.
it WAS st patrick's day in boston. even a confused asian girl like me can be irish. I EVEN GOT TO HAVE GREEN BEER. but again, (hap) is struck with the problem that she is everyone's friend and no one's lover. but god loves me and that should be enough. but sometimes it doesn't feel like enough and that is hard.
i left the bar at 12:30ish, when the T stopped running, and took a cab across town to meet an LLM friend. she's from hong kong. she's so cool and hot. and i got to finish the night up with the LLMs. but again, (hap) was the facilitator and not the facilitated. i'm trying not to take it personally, but it's really hard. why do i keep talking in the third person?
when i took the cab, i pretty much had the best taxi driver ever. his name was salah. he moved here from baghdad 16 years ago. just the thought of it makes me want to cry. it was like he peered into my (drunken) soul and knew things about me that were so sensitive. He kept the light on and talked to me about how i was sensitive and that i shouldn't compromise for a guy. that age doesn't matter. pretty much that love transcends, but i shouldn't compromise. my drunken self soaked it up as a serious affirmation. after which, i was promptly faced with this emotional, somewhat clingy guy who kissed my friend and then wanted the dirt from me.
it's hard not to take it all personally, that there is a flaw with me.
ok, on that note, i'm going to go to bed.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
is your life lacking drama? nothing interesting going on? well, give me a call and i'll create some for you! want gossip? got it covered. want crushes? i'm a pro -- i can maintain several at once! want booze? i'm a great drinking partner. want a party? i can gather a bunch of friends at the drop of a hat. drama, drama, drama! stories to tell at the water cooler or coffee line the next day! just give me a call! services rendered free, though libations are appreciated.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
insanity
i think i may have harasses someone on txt last night hmm...
can it be? is it true? it's Wednesday and spring break is half over? boo hoo.
at least tomorrow afternoon, i'm going off to new hampshire on a women's retreat for church. i have to say that the clincher for me was going to stay at an intervarsity retreat center. oh good times. break out the hiking boots!
tonight, i'm having some random people from school over...at least i think i am. no one has really rsvp'ed...
i think i may have harasses someone on txt last night hmm...
can it be? is it true? it's Wednesday and spring break is half over? boo hoo.
at least tomorrow afternoon, i'm going off to new hampshire on a women's retreat for church. i have to say that the clincher for me was going to stay at an intervarsity retreat center. oh good times. break out the hiking boots!
tonight, i'm having some random people from school over...at least i think i am. no one has really rsvp'ed...
Sunday, March 06, 2005
semi stress free
we are on spring break. technically, spring break doesn't start until tomorrow, but any sunday when i'm not cooped up in the library reading con law is a pretty damn good sunday.
boston is kind of lonely. well, just in terms of school friends. i did get to hang out with some non-law school friends, and that was great.
i was pretty much banking my summer on one job. and i got turned down for that job. that was rough. although it was stupid of me to be relying on it so much. however, i'm realizing that i was probably doing that because i was lazy and didn't want to think about summer jobs.
i think i'm driving down to new jersey tomorrow. i would go tonight but there is no internet at my parents' house and i have to apply for jobs, some of which require applications by this weekend.
i went to church today. it was nice not to think about how i really needed to go to the library and do my con law homework. it was also nice because i think i am starting to break out of my protective shell. a few years ago, life just started to become too painful and i put up barriers that have, in many instances, prevented me from feeling the full emotional impact of events. particularly in terms of world events. because, and i think i have confessed this before, i was in new york on 9/11 and i never fully dealt with it. and all the war and crap (to put it blithely) that have been going on since, well, i just feel so overwhelmed by the order of magnitude of world events over which i have no control. so instead of letting it get to me, i just put a box around all those feelings, and others.
but ... this goes counter to my beliefs. if i have faith in god, i must also have faith that god is in control, that god is taking care of me, and the world. that there is meaning in all this. i'm starting to realize this ... how by having no hope and thinking certain things are too overwhelming to deal with is equivalent to being unfaithful. i think also that at the same time i had put the box up, i had also shut god out, and this has led to some seriously unhealthy un-me-like behavior.
this realization was incredibly powerful and liberating. but i know it will be a process.
thank goodness i have all this emotional spare time, now, because it's spring break.
we are on spring break. technically, spring break doesn't start until tomorrow, but any sunday when i'm not cooped up in the library reading con law is a pretty damn good sunday.
boston is kind of lonely. well, just in terms of school friends. i did get to hang out with some non-law school friends, and that was great.
i was pretty much banking my summer on one job. and i got turned down for that job. that was rough. although it was stupid of me to be relying on it so much. however, i'm realizing that i was probably doing that because i was lazy and didn't want to think about summer jobs.
i think i'm driving down to new jersey tomorrow. i would go tonight but there is no internet at my parents' house and i have to apply for jobs, some of which require applications by this weekend.
i went to church today. it was nice not to think about how i really needed to go to the library and do my con law homework. it was also nice because i think i am starting to break out of my protective shell. a few years ago, life just started to become too painful and i put up barriers that have, in many instances, prevented me from feeling the full emotional impact of events. particularly in terms of world events. because, and i think i have confessed this before, i was in new york on 9/11 and i never fully dealt with it. and all the war and crap (to put it blithely) that have been going on since, well, i just feel so overwhelmed by the order of magnitude of world events over which i have no control. so instead of letting it get to me, i just put a box around all those feelings, and others.
but ... this goes counter to my beliefs. if i have faith in god, i must also have faith that god is in control, that god is taking care of me, and the world. that there is meaning in all this. i'm starting to realize this ... how by having no hope and thinking certain things are too overwhelming to deal with is equivalent to being unfaithful. i think also that at the same time i had put the box up, i had also shut god out, and this has led to some seriously unhealthy un-me-like behavior.
this realization was incredibly powerful and liberating. but i know it will be a process.
thank goodness i have all this emotional spare time, now, because it's spring break.
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