Monday, January 29, 2007

The Dropping of the Other Shoe

I knew something was wrong last night. It was so obvious. It was so confusing. So today, I had it out.

I feel like something I was excited about trying to make happen has broken because of things that are out of my control. He has his friends, I have mine. He's known his friends since he started law school. The friends I hang out with now have just become my friends in the last several months. I'm still getting to know them, although one of them I consider a close friend, a trustworthy friend. One who is not a close friend, nor a trustworthy friend apparently opened her mouth once and drew the ire of one of his friends. It was ok, I thought. It didn't affect me and him, and I sorted it out with her. Thus, I thought that drama was over.

Apparently, Fox wants to pick up the show, like it can't produce anything original on its own. (OK, maybe not Fox. CBS? CW?) And now, what I thought was settled between all the relevant parties has somehow grown into something that's affecting me and him. He, with whom I just decided I really liked and wanted to try and make things work. And instead of talking about it with me, he's making assumptions and taking his annoyance out on me, oh which isn't hurtful at all, is it? IN CASE YOU CAN'T GET SARCASM, IT IS HURTFUL.

I want to fight, but I almost feel like it's a losing battle. He's taking sides and making assumptions and being just as juvenile as the situation he's criticizing. I expected more, frankly, and have seen more mature, rational behavior from people several years younger.

But I want to fight. Partly because I like him, and partly because for the love of fucking God, I'm tired of things breaking down at this point.

We will see. I am giving it one last wholehearted effort. The laughs are worth it. I just wish it was about us, though, and not about other people. For once in my freaking life, or at least in my last year of law school, I'd like it to be about me, about us, and not about any third, fourth, fifth and tenth parties.

1 comment:

noirah said...

Sounds like cramped quarters. Just a few more months and I'm sure the air will seem fresher.