pavlov's dog knew better
i don't know why i do it. i eat the chinese food from the greasy restaurant across the street knowing it will make me feel ill. yet i do it. i gotta stop.

have been feeling horribly and overwhelmingly insecure. i have to stop. actually prayed this morning for the first time in ages. there is something sick and demented underlying my recent bout with insecurity, but i'm not sure what. will figure it out, but highly suspect it has something to do with boys, or a boy. bah!

booked reservations at a campsite in new hampshire. going with some friends from school next month. i'm very excited. i think i stayed there when i was a kid. it's beautiful. we have campsites by the river. yeay!