inanity
i am struck by how inane and awfully written my posts are. until i can come up with something good, i'm not writing anymore. anyways, i have some serious work to do. met with my boss yesterday and realized i'm very far behind and he's really piling the work on. this part-time job is turning into a full-time job. if only i could get my ass out of bed before 10am.

ok, i'm just kidding about the not writing part. let's face it. i love to babble, and with it being summer and not a lot of people around for me to talk to, you're it blogger.

a friend is organizing a weekly pickup soccer game over the summer, weather permitting. although they've only met once, i've yet to go, and i don't really have any aspirations to make any of the games. i'm not very good at soccer. i've probably only played it a handful of times in grade school gym class. so right away, you may surmise that i do not really want to make an ass of myself in front of people. but there's another, bigger reason i don't like soccer. it reminds me of upper middle class suburbia. an ironic association given the popularity of the sport around the world, in impoverished countries, and all the stories you hear of kids playing barefoot in dusty streets. but i grew up in upper middle class suburbia and kids had their weekly soccer games and i'd see them at the bagel shop or the supermarket on weekends in their jerseys and shin guards. and it reminds me of all the privilege and spoiledness of the kids in my town.

my parents worked 7 days a week, 12 hours a day to pay the mortgage in that upper middle class town with the great public school system. i know i was and am privileged in my own way. but my parents were never around to see me do anything, much less drive me to sports practice or haul me around to activities. so i don't want to play because i kind of associate it with that stay at home mom or at least a nanny upper middle class-dom that makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable inside b/c that's how i felt growing up.

stupid. it's just a stupid game where you're not allowed to use your hands. really, i should get over it. but not until i'm in better shape.