i'm not ignoring you
for a girl with no life, i sure can't find the time/patience/energy to sit down and let you, my demanding public, know what the hell is going on. so much and yet so little that is different.

my birthday is officially over and i am well enough into 26 for it no longer to be a novelty. besides, my habit is to actually claim my new age a month before it officially occurs, so i've been 26 for a while now. the kegs have been returned, the deposit is in my wallet, and the house and my car are basically clean.

monday night i went and watch a late showing of the pianist. boy what a sad movie. but you know that's what you're going to get when you watch a movie about the holocaust. i'm not saying this to minimize the tragedy of the holocaust. rather, i say it because the holocaust was such a tragedy through and through in every way. but this is getting too serious. my point in mentioning this is that i overslept on tuesday and missed a day of diving on the boat. oops. i have 16 dives and i need 60 to be officially certified a dive con. 50 are included with my tuition. looks like i'll be doing a lot of diving over the next month.

i've been a bit "stroppy", i've been told. i'm not sure what the word really means, but i think it's kind of like fiesty. so says judith. and my instructor today got in the way of my stroppiness. i yelled at him, used the word fuck a lot, and basically ignored him the rest of the day, as necessary. he was being a dick. it was cold today and i was getting cold and i haven't been feeling well and we're sitting in 18 degree water just bobbing about not doing anything and yeah it's true i don't wear a top to my wetsuit, but i in fact do "know how to choose my proper exposure protection". asshole. everyone got cold in the end. showed him. the asshole.

in other news, now that it's post-easter/birthday, it's time to start thinking about my future. one of my goals for tonight, which i don't think i'm going to achieve, was to send my application out for a job at the bay of plenty times, the local paper. they are looking for an "experienced reporter". i hope they'll be satisifed with one straight out of graduate school. but since i'm American, i'm sure it'll be okay. (kidding.) i'm going to apply for some other jobs in LA and NY, but i think that's it. i've decided i want to be where friends are, or where the nature is so overwhelmingly beautiful. that basically leaves baltimore out. i'm tired of being lonely. i'm tired of having to make new friends all the time. i've put enough effort into making the friends in my life now, i don't want to have to put too much more effort. and i'm tired of "losing" people. that's something i realized today. i'm tired of making friends and leaving them somewhere, so i think i'm going to stick to my live-in-one-place-for-a-few-years resolution. i think. i don't know if i can make a strict commitment sitting here in front of this computer in this here internet cafe. but it's something to think about, eh?

sidebar: you know it's a small town here when you keep seeing the very large man who opened your car for you that rainy day, when you locked the keys in the car with the engine running. i keep seeing the same large man driving the same large truck all over town. sheesh.

that's it for now. i think i'm going to go stir some shit. a shit-stirrer. that's what i've been called. i prefer drama queen.