Beijing - Dec. 30, 5:05 am

For the last 13 hours in Beijing, I got to do something I rarely get to do back home ... SLEEP!

We got some time off between our afternoon activities and dinner and I came back to the hotel with the chills, utterly exhausted from head to toe, curled up in my (extraordinarily hard) bed, and except for a few interruptions, slept straight through. I missed the “Peking Duck Dinner,” but I’m not too worried. I really needed the sleep. Although after my last post I eventually did, umm, make a few more visits to the toilet and return my foul lunch to where it belonged, I still felt pretty crappy yesterday.

Anyway, enough about my illness! Through it all, I managed to walk about the Summer Palace. It’s about 20 miles from downtown Beijing. It’s where the Empress Dowager Ci Xi, the Dragon Lady (again, gotta see The Last Emperor), summered. Well, she wasn't the only one, but she was the one who put the country into serious financial debt to rebuild it in 1902. She died in 1908. Oh, and why did she have to rebuild it? B/c Anglo-French forces burnt it down! It’s true of most of the sites we’ve seen. Although sometimes, before the Anglo-French got their torches to these sites, they burned down of their own accord. Because it is as cold as a witch’s fucking teat here and there was a lot of coal used to keep people warm. Coal and wood equals fire, natch!

The Summer Palace sits on the edge of Kunming Lake, which is half man-made, as in, there was a lake there, but then the Emperor ordered workers to make it bigger. Dig, dig, dig. The lake makes the temperature about 4 or 5 degrees colder than downtown, where the Forbidden City is. The lake was frozen and tourists were merrily strolling about on it. The American sensibility in me said, LAWSUIT! I suppose this is a communist country, after all, and there would hardly be anyone to sue. It’s also so damn cold here, I’m sure the lake was frozen pretty solidly. It’s been a bit shocking, this cold, since in Boston it’s only gotten below freezing maybe once or twice so far this winter.

After the Summer Palace, we had lunch at this fancy Chinese Restaurant. Actually, as this is China, it was just a restaurant. (God, I will never tire of that joke.) Two things to note. First, there is no such thing as diet soda. Second, they’re still allowed to smoke indoors in China. According to our guide, 70% of men smoke. Amazingly, unlike in America, I do not see that many cigarette butts on the streets, but I will have to look again because most of the tourist sites do not allow smoking on the premises.

After lunch, we went to the Temple of Heaven, where the Emperor would travel three times a year to offer sacrifices for such things as the crops. And by travel I mean 16 very strong men would carry his “sidan” measuring over three meters wide and 12 meters long. The Temple of Heaven is very well restored. There’s a lot of restoration work going on all over the city in anticipation of the 2008 Olympics. If you can get a sense in the pictures, there is a lot of intricate artwork on the structures, so restoration takes a lot more effort than giving these buildings a good power-wash.

Just outside the Temple of Heaven is a teahouse. We stopped there for a tea demonstration, some lessons on different types of tea and, of course, an opportunity to purchase some tea.

And then back to the hotel, where this post started.

On a personal note, I should probably get cracking on that paper and other crap I have to do.

Beijing - Dec. 28, 10:24 pm

When I turned nine, my parents had a big party for me. I think it was at their restaurant in the City, but I’m not really sure. What I do remember, and what I’m here to write about, is how I felt afterwards. That was probably the first time in my life that I had food poisoning. I woke up in the middle of the night with the chills. No matter how many blankets or sweaters or pairs of socks I put on, I could not get warm. And then the nausea hit, rolling around my full belly like a snake slowly swallowing and digesting prey ten times its size. Finally, sweet, sweet, relief came in the form of me running hurriedly to the bathroom and depositing a clump of undigested food in the sink. I don’t remember who cleaned it up, but I went back to bed and finally fell sound asleep.

Well, here I am, my first night in China, and I am similarly afflicted as I was when I was in third grade. Only this time, instead of waiting in bed for the illness to be too powerful to hold down, I am systematically shoving my finger down my throat trying to dislodge whatever is unholy in my belly. My last deposit was pretty good and I’m hoping I’m done. In any event, as I’m nursing this Mirinda orange soda (the closest thing to ginger ale in the mini bar), I’m lucid enough to write this blog...

...which I won’t post for about another week. That earthquake that hit Taiwan on Dec. 26 knocked out the T1 connection so it’s nearly impossible to get online. Not that this hotel room has a connection, but I tried from the “Business Center” downstairs. Anyway, I’m not complaining. People died in that earthquake, even if there was, thankfully, no tsunami.

Besides the devil’s baby inside me, I’m having a fantastic time. Today, after landing at 5:45am local time, going through customs and checking in to our hotel, I managed to walk around the neighborhood. I saw the train station, evaded yet still stepped in countless loogies, was pushed and shoved by many of my people, and went into a few shops but quickly left after being hovered over and followed as soon as I stepped foot inside. Then we had lunch (which I think was when I swallowed Satan’s spawn), then we walked for a few hours in the frigid air around Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City.

Oh my God. Tiananmen Square was this vast, paved space teeming with tourists and people trying to make money off of tourists, including government sanctioned souvenir and concession vendors. Then there were the soldiers standing guard, freezing their asses off, bearing very loud and staticky walkie-talkies. I took lots of pictures and will let them speak for themselves.** And of course, there was no mention of the protests and massacres in 1989, and that famous picture of the lone yet powerful person facing off against a tank. But it was in our minds.

Then we went through an underground passage, so we didn’t have to ford what seemed like 14 lanes of traffic, and came out in front of Mao’s portrait in front of the south gate to the Forbidden City. Again, I will let the pictures speak for themselves.** But I MUST see The Last Emperor when I get home.

OK, I think I feel fatigue setting in again, and since it’s a calm amidst the storm, I think I will try to rest.

Cheers.

** Because of the wonky internet connection, I will have to post the pics at a later time. I will post a few for the time being.

A Pre-Trip All-Nighter

I am the worst packer in the world. I go through like three stages of packing. First, I pack things that don't require a lot of decision-making, like toiletries and workout clothes. Then I make giant piles of all the clothes I think I want to take with me. And then finally, I say to myself, you cannot take all this with you, pick the necessities. It takes several hours. Soooooo, here I am, 2 am on Christmas Day, packing. As such, I will regale you with a pre-trip blog.

I spent about 24 hours at home. In that time, my parents equipped me with a suitcase, a cell phone that works in China, some Chinese money they had (b/c they travel there a lot), and countless words of warning.

To wit:

- If you're going to give money to panhandlers, watch out, b/c once you give to one, a thousand more will swarm to you.
- Don't feel bad for the panhandlers, especially the children. Many of them were kidnapped from the countryside, had their limbs lopped off, and are basically panhandling hos for some panhandling pimp.
- Don't eat the seafood; it will kill you.
- Don't drink the water; it will kill you.
- Don't eat the chives; they will kill you.
- Don't eat the carrots; they are so ridden with pesticides and growth hormones that they continue to grow in their packaging; they will kill you.
- Don't pay the posted price for anything; they are marked up 1000%; haggle, haggle, haggle; it will kill you.
- Don't wear one of those money-belts; they will be cut off of you.
- If you need to change money, do it at a bank or they will give you counterfeit money.
- They have Starbucks in the big cities.

I don't know how much of this is true, but it's taking all my worldly sensibilities not to fall into the trap of my childhood where I believed everything they said because they were my parents. I was a stupid, stupid child.

Oh, and

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Like Clockwork

There are a few things in life I've come to rely on. First, that I'll get sick over winter break. Second, that it won't take long for someone in my nuclear family to launch into some racist discussion. This time, it's whether my brother should live in the Bronx (with Hispanics) or in Morningside Heights (with black people). Inside, I was shouting that he's a 32 year old loser with his first real full-time job and apartment (at the same time!) and maybe he shouldn't complain because his neighbors are going to be harder workers and more reliable than he.

Argh. This impending 4 hour drive back to my apartment is going to be a welcomed relief.

The Drive

I just got home an hour ago. And by home, I mean my parents' house in Jersey.

I saw some beautiful colors on the way home. Mostly, I was staring at the sun because I was driving west and didn't leave my apartment until around 2pm. But when the timing and angles were right, there were the most beautiful hues of purple and orange. It even made the barren trees lining the highway and filling the horizon beautiful. I'm grateful for sunsets.

Other than that, the drive was a lot of holiday traffic and near mishaps.

I'm grateful to be alive.

Done-zo!

I'm done done done done done with finals! It feels amazing. Well, it felt amazing. Right now, it just feels like a hangover.

I'm not sure what happened last night, but it started at about 1:45pm with my professor buying 35 shots of jim beam.

I woke up on my couch a few hours ago. I don't want to sleep. It feels too good to be done.

Here's a brief overview of my upcoming life:

- Drive to NJ for visit with parentals and to borrow suitcase
- Drive back to Boston for Christmas Eve with my Tivo
- Fly to LA on Christmas
- Fly to China on the night after Christmas
- China!
- Fly back to LA on 1/6
- Fly back to Boston on 1/7
- Party and plan for this course I'm taking where I teaching enviro law to undergrads.

I taste Jim Beam in the back of my throat. Ughhhhh.

Some Good Advice ... That I'm Going to Need on Saturday

I got this in an email forward that originally started from a Harvard Medical School newsletter. Harvard? It must be true. Smarties. (For more info, you can buy this report on alcohol abuse. Or, you can go to law school.

How to handle a hangover

Drinking fluids may help with the morning-after misery from getting drunk. Hangovers seem to be the body's way of reminding us about the hazards of overindulgence. Physiologically, it's a group effort: Diarrhea, fatigue, headache, nausea, and shaking are the classic symptoms. Sometimes, systolic (the upper number) blood pressure goes up, the heart beats faster than normal, and sweat glands overproduce — evidence that the "fight or flight" response is revved up. Some people become sensitive to light or sound. Others suffer a spinning sensation (vertigo).

The causes are as varied as the symptoms. Alcohol is metabolized into acetaldehyde, a substance that's toxic at high levels, although concentrations rarely get that high, so that's not the complete explanation.

Drinking interferes with brain activity during sleep, so a hangover may be a form of sleep deprivation. Alcohol scrambles the hormones that regulate our biological clocks, which may be why a hangover can feel like jet lag, and vice versa. Alcohol can also trigger migraines, so some people may think they're hung over when it's really an alcohol-induced migraine they're suffering.

Hangovers begin after blood alcohol levels start to fall. In fact, according to some experts, the worst symptoms occur when levels reach zero.

The key ingredient seems to be "drinking to intoxication"; how much you drank to get there is less important. In fact, several studies suggest that light and moderate drinkers are more vulnerable to getting a hangover than heavy drinkers. Yet there's also seemingly contradictory research showing that people with a family history of alcoholism have worse hangovers. Researchers say some people may end up with drinking problems because they drink in an effort to relieve hangover symptoms.

Dr. Robert Swift, a researcher at the Providence Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Rhode Island, coauthored one of the few review papers on hangovers in 1998. It's still one of the most frequently cited sources on the topic. The rundown on hangover remedies that follows is based on that review, an interview with Dr. Swift, and several other sources.

Hair of the dog. Drinking to ease the symptoms of a hangover is sometimes called taking the hair of the dog, or hair of the dog that bit you. The notion is that hangovers are a form of alcohol withdrawal, so a drink or two will ease the withdrawal.

There may be something to it, says Dr. Swift. Both alcohol and short-acting sedatives, such as benzodiazepines like diazepam (Valium), interact with GABA receptors on brain cells, he explains, and it's well documented that some people have withdrawal symptoms from short-acting sedatives as they wear off. Perhaps the brain reacts similarly as blood alcohol levels begin to drop.

Even so, Dr. Swift advises against using alcohol as a hangover remedy. "The hair of the dog just perpetuates a cycle," he says. "It doesn't allow you to recover."

Drink fluids. Alcohol promotes urination because it inhibits the release of vasopressin, a hormone that decreases the volume of urine made by the kidneys. If your hangover includes diarrhea, sweating, or vomiting, you may be even more dehydrated. Although nausea can make it difficult to get anything down, even just a few sips of water might help your hangover.

Get some carbohydrates into your system. Drinking may lower blood sugar levels, so theoretically some of the fatigue and headaches of a hangover may be from a brain working without enough of its main fuel. Moreover, many people forget to eat when they drink, further lowering their blood sugar. Toast and juice is a way to gently nudge levels back to normal.

Avoid darker-colored alcoholic beverages. Experiments have shown that clear liquors, such as vodka and gin, tend to cause hangovers less frequently than dark ones, such as whiskey, red wine, and tequila. The main form of alcohol in alcoholic beverages is ethanol, but the darker liquors contain chemically related compounds (congeners), including methanol. According to Dr. Swift's review paper, the same enzymes process ethanol and methanol, but methanol metabolites are especially toxic, so they may cause a worse hangover.

Take a pain reliever, but not Tylenol. Aspirin, ibuprofen (Motrin, other brands), and other nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) may help with the headache and the overall achy feelings. NSAIDs, though, may irritate a stomach already irritated by alcohol. Don't take acetaminophen (Tylenol). If alcohol is lingering in your system, it may accentuate acetaminophen's toxic effects on the liver.

Drink coffee or tea. Caffeine may not have any special anti-hangover powers, but as a stimulant, it could help with the grogginess. Coffee is a diuretic, though, so it may exacerbate dehydration.

Vitamin B6. A study published over 30 years ago found that people had fewer hangover symptoms if they took a total of 1,200 milligrams of vitamin B6 before, during, and just after drinking to get drunk. But it was a small study and doesn't seem to have been replicated.

A few thoughts. First, this just makes me want to drink more, because now I know how to make myself feel better more quickly. Second, clear liquor? Mmm, martinis. Third, now I know why I love eating crap like fries the morning after! It's for my brain, waistline be damned!

Fourth, I wish my professors would stop mentally violating me. The first time was fun and all, but today just made me feel trampy.

Hopefully Cathartic

That exam rocked me. I kind of knew my stuff, but there just wasn't enough time. I should have expected it. I know it didn't go very well, and it's not for a reason that I can just shake off. I just didn't study enough, or didn't pay enough attention all semester, I didn't try hard enough, etc. All bad reasons. And I'm having a hard time getting it together to study for my last exam on Friday, for which I haven't even started studying yet. Ugh. I need to get it together. I need to accept the fact that that sucked, and I need to move on. I can't. I'm hoping this Frosty from Wendy's helps. Meh.

I REALLY Should Be Studying Privileges...

A YEAR-END SURVEY LIKE NO OTHER

1.) Where did you ring in 2006?
In the South End, Boston.

2.) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Still drunk.

3.) Were you in school (anytime this year)?
Duh.

4.) How did you earn your keep?
On the corner of ... From taxpayer dollars and selling my soul to the devil. Oh, and I guess I research assistanted for a few months.

5.) Did you ever have to go to the hospital?
To visit my uncle, yes.

6.) Have you ever encountered the police?
Pimps n hos always bring the po-po.

7.) Where did you go on vacation?
Chicago, Montreal, LA, Cape, my parents’ house, and does the school ski trip count? Oh, and I’m going to China before the end of the year!

8.) What did you purchase that was over $500?
No one item.

9.) Did you know anybody who got married?
Yes. And popping out babies like it’s their freaking jobs. Yeesh.

10.) Did you know anybody who passed away?
Yes. No one close to me, thankfully.

11.) Have you run into anybody you graduated high school with?
Yes. On purpose and by accident.

12.) Did you move anywhere?
Up and down the elevators in the law tower was pretty regular movement for me this past year.

13.) What sporting events did you go to?
Some Sox games, some Bruins games, Hamburglar broomball and volleyball games, and Boo Law Softball games.

14.) What concerts did you go to?
Oh man . . . Imogen Heap, Editors, We Are Scientists, Weepies, Dinosaur Jr. (what the!?), Damien Rice, and I know I’m forgetting some. I HEART shows!

15.) Are you registered to vote?
Fuck yeah.

16.) If so, did you do your patriotic duty on Nov. 7?
I’d call it my civic duty, and yes. Go Deval!

17.) Where do you live now?
Bahston

18.) Describe your birthday.
Margarita Mania and NYC-bound.

19.) What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006?
Breaking a particular personal rule of mine, involving the law school.

20.) What is one thing you regretted this year?
I don’t have regrets. Really. Well, except not studying abroad in college.

21.) What's something you learned about yourself?
I’m afraid of softballs hitting me in the head.

22.) Any new additions to your family?
My BFF got a cat. Grrr.

23.) What was your best month?
This whole year has been pretty fantastic, and July and August were amazingly fun, but I’d have to say September.

24.) What from pop culture will you remember 2006 by?
SexyBack! The song that made me buy the JT album.

25.) How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (shitty) to 10 (excellent).
Screw you.

Fears

Maybe, more accurately, dislikes.

The dark. Scary movies. The dark especially after scary movies. Heights [only by instinct, you know, wobbly knees and sweaty palms]. Things that swarm. Killer bees. Spiders. Talking to Professor Admin. Talking to Professor Property. Racial and socio-economic homogeneity. Conformity. Saying too, too much. Being a bad hostess. Having things stuck in my teeth when talking to people. An unzipped fly. Toilet paper stuck on my shoe when I leave the bathroom. Bed bugs. Tapeworms. Parasites in general. Slipping in the shower. Eating unidentifiable foods. That my canned tuna will actually be horse meat. Papercuts [paper slicing skin! Really!?]. Public speaking / performance. Being fodder for gossip. Never finding a professional purpose in life. Living in Boston for the rest of my life. Plane crashes. Being predictable. Getting bitten by a snapping turtle while swimming across the lake at camp. Getting bitten by anything not human. Dark murky water. Insincerity. Making the same mistakes and never, ever learning my lesson.

That will do.

Clearly I do not dislike lists. And one day, probably soon, will have to make a list of those. Not dislikes, that is. Not a list of lists. Because that would be weird.