The boy came over last night and I cooked him dinner. It was nearly a disaster. I dropped the chicken, the green beans came out crappy. I'd like to think that I'm off b/c of the bar exam, and maybe yeah I was crunched for time, but I suspect that I'm normally this klutzy and all over the place.
I had a nice time with the boy, which was nice after the last interaction left me ... dissatisfied. It's weird that not being around him (for 4 days?!) made me so unsure. Yet today ... it's good. I think I felt him kinda pulling away. Maybe he IS pulling away. Maybe it's just the initial excitement and desire to see each other constantly wearing off and mellowing into something ... more certain. Maybe it's just the bar exam that's making me nutty. I guess we'll see. I'm hoping that after the bar exam we can be a little bit more ... active and exciting. And not just catching a few hours here and there in the evening after I'm done studying.
It's interesting...he's not very talkative, and, well, if you know me at all, I am. And talking, not for the sake of talking, but communicating, is important to me. I like how he tries. We watched this movie last night, and I kinda didn't like it. I mean, I didn't hate it, I just didn't think it was very good. And he did. So I wanted to figure out what qualifies as "bad" for him. And at first he didn't really want to answer, but I think he sort of saw my frustration with trying to make a conversation, and he tried. It was ... cute. That word is a little trite, but I can't think of anything better. Suffice it to say, I found it charming.
As far as the bar exam...I know I'm learning stuff. At this point, I'm just scared that everything that's going to be on it is something I don't know. ACK! Back to studying!
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