mental powers
about half an hour ago, while i was taking a wee, i mentally made myself accept that i had to take this job search seriously. no more applying for jobs like being a cashier at target. the reason? i had just found this job opening that's relatively perfect. exactly one of the 14,000 things i want to do. unfortunately, the job is in boston, but that's a city i'm totally open to living in.

what does this mean and why am i posting this here? because it's the start of my acceptance of the fact that i may not go back to new zealand. despite all the grief and misery and carnage i have wreaked in that country, i loved it there (most of the time) and it was great and most importantly, it's better than living here (here being with my parents and in new jersey and the united states) in so many ways.

but maybe with all this money i'm going to save (as soon as i get my first paycheck), i'll just have a really nice vacation down under instead.