mom
i told my mom i wanted to move to australia or new zealand. she replies, in typical fashion, that i should just go vacation there for a month instead of moving there because it's so far away and she'll miss me. (all together now: aww!) and i said, well, i'd want to do it for like six months and she sort of raised her eyebrows. shortly afterwards, in a moment of weakness and completely unrelated to my previous statement (i swear), i said i wanted to marry someone from new zealand. she then immediately said, oh, well if you're going to go look for a husband then you can go for six months. and she essentially offered to set me up. note: this is not what i was saying i wanted or asking for; the two ideas were unrelated.

oh the ways of the old-world asian parents. i'm nothing to them but a degree-earning, baby-popping machine.