creepy night
went to see the matrix tonight, and it was an amazing movie. my stomach hurt when i got out of the theatre because i had been so tense throughout the film, i think. now, it's 2am and i'm thoroughly exhausted but i can't sleep. i think it has something to do with the howling wind that's giving me the creeps. add to that my already weird state from seeing the matrix and from getting back from a two-day kayaking trip on lake tarawera, and anxiety from my upcoming departure and some romantic wah i seem to have predictably gotten myself into, and i'm just totally nutty. i REALLY should just slap on my headphones and try and get some sleep.

things are starting to look good for my possible return, if that's what i want to do. but i've decided not to make that decision until i'm standing on american soil. but it's good to know that i have friends and possible work waiting for me if i do come back ... if this wind doesn't just blow this place off the face of the earth. and there's always more "training", i suppose. now, all i have to do is see what my parents say ... for crying out loud, i'm 26 years old and still need the approval of my parents. oy vey. the burden of being chinese.