Work is pretty slow. I turned in an assignment - I kinda found out last minute about the deadline, but managed to get it done despite all my hemming and hawing with my BFF in town. Yay, BFF! Ever since turning it in, I've pretty much been slacking off and loving it. I took a three hour lunch yesterday and went home. After rolling in at 10:30.
I'm not too worried. Things don't count right now, and it will be busy soon enough.
Tomorrow, at work, they are holding a toast for a few people who just made partner. I started to feel like I was in a John Grisham novel as I pictured all these people in this overly-carpeted conference room, toasting one of our own. SHIVER.
The other big thing going on in my life - the boy! He came over the other night for a mini-dinner party. It was him, my BFF, and three of my bestest gay friends. He didn't have that much to say; despite what he claims, he's pretty shy. Also, it's hard when everyone else is just yammering on about this and that. My BFF liked him. More importantly, he fulfilled his boyfriend duties after making me meet two of his exes and have dinner with his mom and high school-aged sister during the last three or four weekends.
The first few weeks after I got back were kinda rough. We fought a lot, etc. But now, it's good. He was sooo good to me yesterday. He picked me up, dropped me off at my friend's house so we could watch the baseball game, and then he picked me up when I wanted to leave. Then this morning, he got up early so he could drop me off at home. It might not sound like a lot, but it's pretty nice of him and he doesn't have to do it, especially b/c I was perfectly capable of taking the T. I think he finally got the message when I kept telling him that he needed to be nicer to me.
This morning, it was cold and dreary and when the alarm went off, the sun was barely up. And we were cuddling, innocently!, and it was just ... nice. I want to say magical but that's kinda cheesy. Heh.
I'm happy. That is all.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Brilliant!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Work and The Boyfriend
Life is kinda taking me by storm. I think both work and my personal life are at ... well, both are going through important moments.
Work. Work! Sometimes, I feel like I'm playing dress-up. Sometimes, I can't wait to get out of training and do some real work. And then sometimes, like last night when I went out for drinks for the first time with my co-workers (whom I love love love love! after getting to know most of them last summer), I think, wow, we're all a bunch of childish gossip-hounds and i can't believe the future is in our hands. More or less. We took bets on who's going to be the first to leave. Everyone thinks it's me, including me. My situation is not ideal. Over the last three years, I dedicated myself to one goal. I thought I could fulfill that goal at my current job. Instead, I found out on the first day that I was locked out of my goal, put in a different department. I mean, I can still kinda fulfill my goal, but I'm thinking no more than 50%. The other 50% is probably just going to be filler. Is it going to be enough? I don't know. But not being able to fulfill my goal makes me feel like I'm back in law school, passing time until my real life starts.
My best friend said, put in 3 years, then go do something else. In the mean time, sock away your money, don't drink it all away, and then you'll be fine when you leave in 3 years. I said, if I even tried to drink away my money, I'd die. DIE!
Now, the boy. The boyfriend. Some days, he's great. On most others, I want to kill him. I mean that metaphorically of course.
Two weeks ago, and again this weekend, I'm having to go through the ordeal of meeting his ex-girlfriends. Two weeks ago, it was A, a high school girlfriend, whom he cheated on, but they were never in a serious relationship. They knew from the outset it was only a summer thing. Still, I felt threatened, I guess, b/c she was an ex and he went out to lunch with her one day without telling me. So I was nervous. Turned out, she wasn't that pretty, nor was she that interesting, but she was really nice and respectful.
This weekend, it's J. She's a senior in college, they dated about a year ago, and he broke up with her b/c she was immature and he kinda was into someone else, I think. I definitely get the immaturity. It's still awkward, though, mostly b/c this relationship meant a little more than that fling in the post-high school summer. She's also trying to pull this thing where she's trying to bond with me by sharing inside jokes about the boy. And she's trying to assert her place as the brother's best friend, and telling me that she spent all her time, at some point, at their family house. This I don't like. At one point last night, I think I gave her a dirty look. No, it wasn't dirty, it was more like, I'm not going to go there with you; this is not the kind of relationship I want to have with you; we are not going to be giggly BFFs sharing inside jokes about our commonality, who happens to be my boyfriend. No.
I'm going back there later. I had to be home to receive the table I ordered. I think it's too big for my space, but I guess it's just another in a series of poor decisions I've made about outfitting my condo.
Work. Work! Sometimes, I feel like I'm playing dress-up. Sometimes, I can't wait to get out of training and do some real work. And then sometimes, like last night when I went out for drinks for the first time with my co-workers (whom I love love love love! after getting to know most of them last summer), I think, wow, we're all a bunch of childish gossip-hounds and i can't believe the future is in our hands. More or less. We took bets on who's going to be the first to leave. Everyone thinks it's me, including me. My situation is not ideal. Over the last three years, I dedicated myself to one goal. I thought I could fulfill that goal at my current job. Instead, I found out on the first day that I was locked out of my goal, put in a different department. I mean, I can still kinda fulfill my goal, but I'm thinking no more than 50%. The other 50% is probably just going to be filler. Is it going to be enough? I don't know. But not being able to fulfill my goal makes me feel like I'm back in law school, passing time until my real life starts.
My best friend said, put in 3 years, then go do something else. In the mean time, sock away your money, don't drink it all away, and then you'll be fine when you leave in 3 years. I said, if I even tried to drink away my money, I'd die. DIE!
Now, the boy. The boyfriend. Some days, he's great. On most others, I want to kill him. I mean that metaphorically of course.
Two weeks ago, and again this weekend, I'm having to go through the ordeal of meeting his ex-girlfriends. Two weeks ago, it was A, a high school girlfriend, whom he cheated on, but they were never in a serious relationship. They knew from the outset it was only a summer thing. Still, I felt threatened, I guess, b/c she was an ex and he went out to lunch with her one day without telling me. So I was nervous. Turned out, she wasn't that pretty, nor was she that interesting, but she was really nice and respectful.
This weekend, it's J. She's a senior in college, they dated about a year ago, and he broke up with her b/c she was immature and he kinda was into someone else, I think. I definitely get the immaturity. It's still awkward, though, mostly b/c this relationship meant a little more than that fling in the post-high school summer. She's also trying to pull this thing where she's trying to bond with me by sharing inside jokes about the boy. And she's trying to assert her place as the brother's best friend, and telling me that she spent all her time, at some point, at their family house. This I don't like. At one point last night, I think I gave her a dirty look. No, it wasn't dirty, it was more like, I'm not going to go there with you; this is not the kind of relationship I want to have with you; we are not going to be giggly BFFs sharing inside jokes about our commonality, who happens to be my boyfriend. No.
I'm going back there later. I had to be home to receive the table I ordered. I think it's too big for my space, but I guess it's just another in a series of poor decisions I've made about outfitting my condo.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Where Did All the Time Go? aka Fooding In Asia
I've been home for over a week, but I just haven't found the time or energy to post. There's so much I want to write - mostly about the food in Taiwan, but I'll post some photos instead.
One short, interesting anecdote. The hotel we stayed at in Taipei had a huge buffet breakfast every morning. Rice porridge, miso soup, eggs, weird ham products that purported to be bacon, salad, etc. There was also yogurt and fruit. Cantaloupe, kiwi, and one morning, this white fruit with black spots, kinda like kiwi, but white and bigger. I didn't know what it was, but it didn't taste like much. Later that morning, we got in a cab to go to a restaurant, and as cab drivers and most Taiwanese people are super friendly, my dad struck up an easy conversation with the driver. We started talking about fruit, and the driver mentioned that there's this thing called dragon fruit - red on the outside, but white on inside, with black spots - that we should stay away from b/c it gives all Westerners the runs. Pshaw, I thought, I hate generalizations.
We ate lunch. After lunch, my stomach felt funny. I thought lunch wasn't agreeing with me, but when I got home, yeah, the runs. In retrospect, I think it was the dragon fruit. Kinda coincidental, no?
Onto the pictures!

A plastic food display at a restaurant outside Tokyo.

Fish-shaped fish product.

Fresh grilled little octopus.

Denny's, duh.

Traditional Japanese dinner. This is like 5 of 1000 courses we ate.

Fresh mochi, meet plush mochi!

Plastic sushi display.

Fresh papaya milk. Yum.

Night market - ENORMOUS sausages.

Night market, Taipei.

Dinner at night market - including octopus pancake.
One short, interesting anecdote. The hotel we stayed at in Taipei had a huge buffet breakfast every morning. Rice porridge, miso soup, eggs, weird ham products that purported to be bacon, salad, etc. There was also yogurt and fruit. Cantaloupe, kiwi, and one morning, this white fruit with black spots, kinda like kiwi, but white and bigger. I didn't know what it was, but it didn't taste like much. Later that morning, we got in a cab to go to a restaurant, and as cab drivers and most Taiwanese people are super friendly, my dad struck up an easy conversation with the driver. We started talking about fruit, and the driver mentioned that there's this thing called dragon fruit - red on the outside, but white on inside, with black spots - that we should stay away from b/c it gives all Westerners the runs. Pshaw, I thought, I hate generalizations.
We ate lunch. After lunch, my stomach felt funny. I thought lunch wasn't agreeing with me, but when I got home, yeah, the runs. In retrospect, I think it was the dragon fruit. Kinda coincidental, no?
Onto the pictures!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Japan, Check
This is my last night in Japan. Tomorrow, off to Taipei.
I think Tokyo is an amazing city, from what I've seen of it. It's a really cosmopolitan city. It's incredibly clean. The public transport is incredibly sophisticated. People are friendly. (According to my dad, it's just superficial, but as a tourist, it's nice to see nonetheless.) The stuff we saw outside of Tokyo was less than thrilling. We went to a few "historic" sites - traditional temples and shrines - but they're all tourist-trap recreations built in the 1970s and what not. So they look really old, but if you look closely, the construction is just a little too perfect to be ancient. I think going to Italy and seeing paintings from the 12th Century and even older buildings has jaded me just a bit. Oh, poor me.
One of the best tourist experiences I had was staying at this traditional Japanese hotel near the coast in Atami. We slept on tatame (mats). We ate dinner sitting on tatame mats. We had to wear yukata, with the right side tucked on the inside. Women had to tie their belts on the side or the back; men tie them in front. The most, erm, for lack of a better word, "unusual" part of the traditional hotel experience was the hot bath. Basically, there was an enormous room with lots of shower heads around the walls. In the center, there was a large hot bath. And we all got in, naked, and bathed, and then soaked, and bathed and soaked and bathed and soaked until the hot water and steam made our heads spin. The public nudity wouldn't have been so off-putting if my mom weren't there. And if I didn't have a nipple piercing. Which she doesn't know about. So I spent the entire time hiding my boobs, like I was ashamed or shy, whereas really, I was just trying to avoid her clucking at me.
All "unusualness" aside, between the bath and the massage I got and the cozy bed, I had one of the best nights of sleep in my life. Until my mom, for God only knows what reason, called and woke me up at 5:45am. Grr.
In other news, I found out that I de facto got the department assignment I wanted. Only because I didn't get a phone call telling me otherwise. Whew.
I just got off the phone with the boy and my heart is reeling. I can't write anymore. Nothing spectacular. I'm just overcome with emotion right now. "I just want to hear you say it." That I want him to wait for me. (Instead of hooking up with some dirty Jersey girls who are visiting his roommate.) Of course I do. I need to go to bed.
I think Tokyo is an amazing city, from what I've seen of it. It's a really cosmopolitan city. It's incredibly clean. The public transport is incredibly sophisticated. People are friendly. (According to my dad, it's just superficial, but as a tourist, it's nice to see nonetheless.) The stuff we saw outside of Tokyo was less than thrilling. We went to a few "historic" sites - traditional temples and shrines - but they're all tourist-trap recreations built in the 1970s and what not. So they look really old, but if you look closely, the construction is just a little too perfect to be ancient. I think going to Italy and seeing paintings from the 12th Century and even older buildings has jaded me just a bit. Oh, poor me.
One of the best tourist experiences I had was staying at this traditional Japanese hotel near the coast in Atami. We slept on tatame (mats). We ate dinner sitting on tatame mats. We had to wear yukata, with the right side tucked on the inside. Women had to tie their belts on the side or the back; men tie them in front. The most, erm, for lack of a better word, "unusual" part of the traditional hotel experience was the hot bath. Basically, there was an enormous room with lots of shower heads around the walls. In the center, there was a large hot bath. And we all got in, naked, and bathed, and then soaked, and bathed and soaked and bathed and soaked until the hot water and steam made our heads spin. The public nudity wouldn't have been so off-putting if my mom weren't there. And if I didn't have a nipple piercing. Which she doesn't know about. So I spent the entire time hiding my boobs, like I was ashamed or shy, whereas really, I was just trying to avoid her clucking at me.
All "unusualness" aside, between the bath and the massage I got and the cozy bed, I had one of the best nights of sleep in my life. Until my mom, for God only knows what reason, called and woke me up at 5:45am. Grr.
In other news, I found out that I de facto got the department assignment I wanted. Only because I didn't get a phone call telling me otherwise. Whew.
I just got off the phone with the boy and my heart is reeling. I can't write anymore. Nothing spectacular. I'm just overcome with emotion right now. "I just want to hear you say it." That I want him to wait for me. (Instead of hooking up with some dirty Jersey girls who are visiting his roommate.) Of course I do. I need to go to bed.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Why This Trip Was A Bad Idea
Unbeknownst to me, my family decided to come to Japan a few days early, hang out in Tokyo for a few days, and then meet up with a tour group coming from America. Today, we were supposed to be at the airport by 2pm to meet the group. We got there at 1:30. Some guy noticed our name tags and told us to sit and wait. Two hours later, we were still waiting. So my dad called the tour guide, and she realized that we were left behind. Twenty minutes later, we saw her with a big sign, and she ran over to us as we beckoned, dishing out apologies like it was nobody's business. I'm pretty sure she didn't get the first one out before my mom just laid in on her. And she continued to ream her out in Chinese, noticeably audible over the din of the arrival area. The teen angst that has resurfaced aside, it was totally embarrassing. After a few minutes, my mom had crossed from righteous indignation into shrieking lunatic banshee territory. It didn't help that she had these two rice kernels from her lunch still stuck to her shirt.
When we finally got to the hotel, I went to the gym. FINALLY. I really haven't worked out, if you're curious, since before the bar exam. I've been walking around a lot on vacation, but my plans to exercise in Europe were thwarted by my broken foot. After showering, I was five minutes late meeting my family for dinner. So when I finally found them in the restaurant, they were seated at a table for four. And I had to sit like a fucking pariah at my own table. It would have been fine - I mean, if I had known, I would have brought a book or something. But for crying out loud - I was forgotten by my own fucking family.
So much teenage angst is resurfacing. It's kinda pathetic, really. I gotta get a hold of myself.
Anyway, Japan. I'm here. I'm not really sure I have that much to say. I think it would be really nice to go to an art museum and absorb some culture besides shopping and eating. But both are pretty good, I guess. My parents buy me things - jewelry, food. They even paid, more or less unknowingly, for my phone calls to the boy. :) But Tokyo is a lot like Hong Kong - just less crowded. The food, though. Oh, the food. It's amazing! Everything is delicious - snacks, noodle shops, curries, teas, pastries. I could eat forever. I'm trying not to, though. Living off the hotel food - the meals we're given - has left me really hungry! I'm like gorging myself and starving at the same time.
I really want to go home. At the same time, I really, really, really need to enjoy this while I can. It's just that ... while being in Japan is a novelty, so is the boy. And I miss him. And while my last trip brought us closer together, I feel like this one is pushing us apart.
When we finally got to the hotel, I went to the gym. FINALLY. I really haven't worked out, if you're curious, since before the bar exam. I've been walking around a lot on vacation, but my plans to exercise in Europe were thwarted by my broken foot. After showering, I was five minutes late meeting my family for dinner. So when I finally found them in the restaurant, they were seated at a table for four. And I had to sit like a fucking pariah at my own table. It would have been fine - I mean, if I had known, I would have brought a book or something. But for crying out loud - I was forgotten by my own fucking family.
So much teenage angst is resurfacing. It's kinda pathetic, really. I gotta get a hold of myself.
Anyway, Japan. I'm here. I'm not really sure I have that much to say. I think it would be really nice to go to an art museum and absorb some culture besides shopping and eating. But both are pretty good, I guess. My parents buy me things - jewelry, food. They even paid, more or less unknowingly, for my phone calls to the boy. :) But Tokyo is a lot like Hong Kong - just less crowded. The food, though. Oh, the food. It's amazing! Everything is delicious - snacks, noodle shops, curries, teas, pastries. I could eat forever. I'm trying not to, though. Living off the hotel food - the meals we're given - has left me really hungry! I'm like gorging myself and starving at the same time.
I really want to go home. At the same time, I really, really, really need to enjoy this while I can. It's just that ... while being in Japan is a novelty, so is the boy. And I miss him. And while my last trip brought us closer together, I feel like this one is pushing us apart.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Interlude
My European vacation is over. Yeah, there are anecdotes and photographs, but those will come later.
My brief visit home is over. There are no photographs, and not really any anecdotes, but there are thoughts.
I got to see two friends from the high school days. That was so much fun. It made me feel adult and grounded. Catching up, having dessert, with two women who are successful and stable and struggle with adult things - dating, children, eek!
I spent pretty much all of the rest of my free time with the boy. I think that if I didn't, he would have broken up with me. I don't like long distance, he said. I don't even like having girlfriends I see only once a week. OK, noted. I hope I made it sufficiently clear to him that I am going to try my damndest to make sure that he's a priority of mine when I start working.
As it turned out, my last trip was good for us. He learned that he liked me and missed me - I think he's learned to appreciate me a lot more, and be a little more committed, not that he wasn't before, but ... it's just been more intense. I think it was the same for me. But yesterday, looking into this eyes, and feeling his arms around me, damn, it scared the shit out of me. I felt so much fear. Fear of falling in love, fear of declaring my love, fear of being hurt (why does he not talk to me about this one ex-girlfriend from high school he's been rekindling a friendship with? why didn't he mention that he's going to hang out with her on Saturday? why didn't he mention that he was having lunch with her all those weeks ago?), fear of losing myself (I spent all my time with him - I hardly did any laundry, didn't make those phone calls I needed to make, didn't see those friends I wanted to see).
There are so many thoughts in my head, I really just need to see what comes. Quell the doubts, because I really should not let them nag at me, because they are 90% manufactured by me. Maybe 95%. See what comes, because if this is going to be love, then let it be. Don't skip the love just because I see the other side. This might sound cheesy, but maybe the love needs to be allowed to live, even if it's for a little while.
That's all I have in me. I gotta get packin.
Next up: family vacation to Japan, Taiwan and Cambodia. This trip is either going to be really good for my family, or it's going to tear us apart. God help me, I hope it's the former.
My brief visit home is over. There are no photographs, and not really any anecdotes, but there are thoughts.
As it turned out, my last trip was good for us. He learned that he liked me and missed me - I think he's learned to appreciate me a lot more, and be a little more committed, not that he wasn't before, but ... it's just been more intense. I think it was the same for me. But yesterday, looking into this eyes, and feeling his arms around me, damn, it scared the shit out of me. I felt so much fear. Fear of falling in love, fear of declaring my love, fear of being hurt (why does he not talk to me about this one ex-girlfriend from high school he's been rekindling a friendship with? why didn't he mention that he's going to hang out with her on Saturday? why didn't he mention that he was having lunch with her all those weeks ago?), fear of losing myself (I spent all my time with him - I hardly did any laundry, didn't make those phone calls I needed to make, didn't see those friends I wanted to see).
There are so many thoughts in my head, I really just need to see what comes. Quell the doubts, because I really should not let them nag at me, because they are 90% manufactured by me. Maybe 95%. See what comes, because if this is going to be love, then let it be. Don't skip the love just because I see the other side. This might sound cheesy, but maybe the love needs to be allowed to live, even if it's for a little while.
That's all I have in me. I gotta get packin.
Next up: family vacation to Japan, Taiwan and Cambodia. This trip is either going to be really good for my family, or it's going to tear us apart. God help me, I hope it's the former.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
A Brief Hello
Hello. From Florence. Still. Since I met up with my friend here, I haven't really had a chance to get away and post. I suppose when I get home I will have to do a thorough post of my travels. Or barring that, I will just post a lot of photos.
Florence is amazing, but I have to say, I wouldn't live here. Maybe in the hillsides of the Chianti region, where we are going to visit tomorrow. Maybe in the Cinque Terre, along the coast, where we went yesterday. But not in Florence. It's a beautiful, historical place, but ultimately, it's just another city, and there are better cities to live in. Even Boston, if you can believe it.
That is all for now. Thursday, we're off to Greece, and I'm REALLY looking forward to that. I've somehow become a beach person. I think about laying about in the sun (or near the sun) a lot. Maybe it has something to do with my broken foot. Makes walking not that fun. so that's all for now.
Florence is amazing, but I have to say, I wouldn't live here. Maybe in the hillsides of the Chianti region, where we are going to visit tomorrow. Maybe in the Cinque Terre, along the coast, where we went yesterday. But not in Florence. It's a beautiful, historical place, but ultimately, it's just another city, and there are better cities to live in. Even Boston, if you can believe it.
That is all for now. Thursday, we're off to Greece, and I'm REALLY looking forward to that. I've somehow become a beach person. I think about laying about in the sun (or near the sun) a lot. Maybe it has something to do with my broken foot. Makes walking not that fun. so that's all for now.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Florence!
I'm in Florence. The rain has followed me, and so has my traveling companion, but she doesn't get into town for another few hours, and I have another few hours before they let me into our appartmente. So off I go, wandering the streets. Again. My foot still hurts.
In Paris, my six or seven years of French study came back to me, and I could form complete sentences when dealing with a person who didn't speak English. I could also read a lot of words, and everything pretty much made sense. I even watched several hours of TV and understood what was going on.
Here, in Florence, I haven't the faintest clue! The language sounds nothing like French, and there's little resemblance. My BFF, who traveled to Italy a few years ago, told me to just wave my hands around some more if the person I'm talking to doesn't understand me. Sounds like a plan.
Oh, and the keyboard here - way more like the American keyboard. Still different, but at least all the letter keys are in the same place and I can type away, punctuation aside, with similar speed as at home.
In Paris, my six or seven years of French study came back to me, and I could form complete sentences when dealing with a person who didn't speak English. I could also read a lot of words, and everything pretty much made sense. I even watched several hours of TV and understood what was going on.
Here, in Florence, I haven't the faintest clue! The language sounds nothing like French, and there's little resemblance. My BFF, who traveled to Italy a few years ago, told me to just wave my hands around some more if the person I'm talking to doesn't understand me. Sounds like a plan.
Oh, and the keyboard here - way more like the American keyboard. Still different, but at least all the letter keys are in the same place and I can type away, punctuation aside, with similar speed as at home.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Paris, check
OK first of all, French keyboards are weird so you'll have to forgive the typos. After 3 days i've kind of gotten used to it, but not that much. This will probly be a short post b/c typing is a bitch.
Paris is, oddly, just as i remem:ber it from zhen i was here for an exchange when i was 15. I guess when these buildings have been around for hundreds of years, they're not going to change that much in 15.
The oddest thing that has happened was, on my first day, i just walked and walked and walked, trying to stay awake. when i finally decided it was a reasonable time to head back to the hotel and fall asleep, i hear a voice...excooz me...i think i went o school with you. Sure enough, she was in my corporations class last fall. CRAZY!!
Also, i've seen the mona lisa - against my better judgment, i fought the crowds in the denon wing of the louvre - and i'm never doing it again. Unless i can rent out the fucking museum and have the place to myself and maybe a hundred close friends.
It's been cold and rainy. I hate my boyfriend. I think I broke my foot. I'm really looking forward to meeting up with my friend in Florence. I forgot that I don't like traveling alone anymore. I mean, so much wine and no one to enjoy it with!!
Paris is, oddly, just as i remem:ber it from zhen i was here for an exchange when i was 15. I guess when these buildings have been around for hundreds of years, they're not going to change that much in 15.
The oddest thing that has happened was, on my first day, i just walked and walked and walked, trying to stay awake. when i finally decided it was a reasonable time to head back to the hotel and fall asleep, i hear a voice...excooz me...i think i went o school with you. Sure enough, she was in my corporations class last fall. CRAZY!!
Also, i've seen the mona lisa - against my better judgment, i fought the crowds in the denon wing of the louvre - and i'm never doing it again. Unless i can rent out the fucking museum and have the place to myself and maybe a hundred close friends.
It's been cold and rainy. I hate my boyfriend. I think I broke my foot. I'm really looking forward to meeting up with my friend in Florence. I forgot that I don't like traveling alone anymore. I mean, so much wine and no one to enjoy it with!!
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