Something New

I, like many Americans, have have countless hopes and wishes and wants that I want to see accomplished during Obama's presidency.  But there is nothing more I want than to see Native Americans given their legal rights and recognition that they have been denied since this nation was formed.  You might think that their abuse ended after we took their land, and made them march to their deaths across the South, but to this day, they are being denied their legal rights, promises made in signed treaties by leaders of this country.  It is appalling.  Here is an article that I liked. 

I Am Sick

And there you have it.  Laid up on my couch with the chills and aches.  I've also got some nasty gas, and am worried that I have a stomach thing again.  Ugh, that was the worst.  

Economic Reality

During the last economic downturn, the one after 9/11, I was in grad school.  

During the economic downturn before that, the dot-com burst, I was just leaving college and entering what essentially was a government position, in research.  It paid crap. 

During the recession of the 80s, I was a kid, and I cared only about football cards, soda, stickers, maybe the cute boys in my class, and my banana-seat bicycle with one pedal.  Food showed up on the table.  My parents went to work everyday.  It was fine.  Sure, now I know that we moved every year probably because my parents couldn't make rent payments, and their business was barely making money. 

During this economic downturn, I'm worrying about getting laid off...and more significantly, watching my friends get laid off. 

Yup, it happened this week.  Although we all saw it coming, it was, in the end, rather sudden.  My friends are both optimistic, worried, relieved, practical, realistic, and sad.  The ones who are left behind feel betrayed and depressed.  We were rather close.  And we all chose this place because, well, for different reasons, but for a lot of us, we passed up more prestige to be part of this family.  Sure, in the end, it's a law firm and no one is safe, but it did feel like a family, that they cared, that they'd do the best to bring us to our potential and either have us make partner or send us out into the world to continue growing the network of firm alumni. 

Yeah, I guess I drank the kool-aid.  And now it's worn off.  Or they've given us the red pill.  Or insert other slightly inaccurate pop culture reference here. 

Like I said, we all saw this coming, and given the state of the economy, it's not that surprising.  But it could have been done with more tact, more warning, more respect. 

And in the end I can only say so much for my friends and colleagues who were laid off.  I can say this about me.  I feel like a fraud.  I feel like if anyone should have been laid off, it should have been me.  I have made so many mistakes and made so many bad impressions.  And I have parents whom I can fall back on.  I mean, they own a bar.  People definitely drink through recessions.  I feel like if I could, I would step up and swap places with someone.  I feel bad.  I feel guilty for exhibiting these bad feelings because I feel like my friends have it so much worse.  I have survivor's guilt. 

Can't I go back to the time when I just worried whether my parents would be able to buy me shiny, pointy new crayons?! 

A Few NYE Pics

My place before.

 

Another view. 

A picture of the Boy and Me. 

The morning after - not so happy. 

All our hot air frozen on the window. 

2009 Resolutions

So cliched, but I gotta document them somewhere. 

1. Go to the gym more often, at least as much as I did before Thanksgiving.  I've put on poundage, and it's sad, because about a year ago, I was like a size and a half smaller. :(  Think I'm going to take up yoga in addition to spinning. 

2. Have more intimate, deep and meaningful conversations with friends.  I seem to end up in a lot of short, easily-distractable conversations with friends at bars.  There are people I've known for over a year and don't even know what they do.  Lame!  

3. Be nicer to the boy.  

4. Be happier at work. 

5. Spend less, save more.