More Ridiculousness

I think everyone in law school has come down with a serious case of the retardeds.

Or maybe it's that everyone else is sane and I'm the retarded one? Maybe everyone else is sane b/c they play right into the juvenile crap. Maybe it's me who plays into the juvenile crap and everyone else is above it? Is that possible? Maybe I'm below it b/c I'm not fully in it. I don't get it. I'm going to give up trying. I'm going crazy trying to figure it out. I can't wait to graduate.

Here are a few points / thoughts / questions I'd like to leave you with

- Is it hypocritical to say, I hate being gossip fodder, but then forwarding what was intended to be a mature, private conversation straightening things out to who knows how many people? How do you not call that gossip but then point fingers at other people for gossiping? Perhaps you don't see the line between gossip and confiding in friends. Frankly, I'd say putting up personal information about a third party on your AIM profile seems awfully gossipy and juvenile, if you ask me. But no one asks me. They just make assumptions.

- I feel like I'm in the middle. I'm neither here nor there. Yet they demonize me as someone who was breaking into their insular group of friends just b/c I prevented one of them from "coming home". Who the fuck says shit like that? And here, I'm lumped together with people who don't even know me, who I like and care about and hang out with, but really, it's all in search of a good time b/c if I were to drink alone, I'd be an official alcoholic. (That is not to say there aren't people I don't legitimately care for, but I'm getting on this bus a little late. They've all been getting to know each other for two years; I've been around for a few months. And I have other friends.)

- Isn't it an adult thing to, when someone wants to talk to you about friendship and stuff, to actually sit down and talk? The retarded thing to do would be to make excuses and etc. And perhaps have you considered the fact that maybe serious talks are not very productive b/c all you do is get defensive?

I'm so confused I have no idea what is right or wrong anymore. I don't know why I bother caring, or bother trying. I give up.