My Labor Day Weekend in Numbers

My Labor Day Weekend in Numbers

Friday:
1 van
2 chicks
9 fabulous gay men
7 hours of driving
1 batch of brownies and more junk food than you can shake a stick at
300+ miles driven
1 nap taken
1 bar that turned us away because women weren't allowed
1 bar with a roof deck hot tub but slightly weird music

Saturday:
1 Mount Royal climbed
1 "smoked meet" restaurant dined at
1 cousin, 1 aunt and 1 uncle (mine!) randomly run into on the street
2 mimes found
1 birthday dinner
22 diners
3 Bombay Sapphire martinis that did nothing because of some strange pour machines
5 olives in each martini
5 pips discarded because there were no cocktail olives to be found
1 bar that turned us away because women weren't allowed ("Cut off your boobs, then you can come in.)
1 sad group as a result until ...
1 fabulous dance club, Unity

Sunday:
1 brunch canceled because of rain
1 porn shop with about 15 giant dildo replicas of porn stars
23 pages of homework read
1 friend from work randomly run into in the coffee shop
8 pizzas
1 strip club
4 lap dances that happened in booths near us (but not to anyone in my party)
1 booth that went a-rockin'
22 grossed out strip club patrons

Monday:
11:30am pickup
28 dollars Canadian reimbursed at border
2 bottles of liquor bought for the cheap at the duty free shop
1 bottle of Canadian maple syrup, same
2 passengers without passports but who still made it through customs (whew)
5 bags of chips consumed
1 bag of Oreos consumed
1 stop at Burger King
7:30pm arrival at home

And so:
1 new friend, whom I could truly love if he loved women (sigh)
5 acquaintances solidified into friendships
138 pictures taken to be posted at a later date because...
20 pages behind in reading, already