I Don't Know Why I Do the Things I Do

I Don't Know Why I Do the Things I Do

A series of unfortunate circumstances and decisions that were better in theory than in practice found me talking to this guy (let’s call him Dale, because that was his name), at a bar near Fanueil Hall. There also happened to be some Fox News Orgy going on at a neighboring bar. A giant tractor trailer with 10-foot tall images of Fox News anchors and personalities plastered to the side. A Hummer, the “Fox News Fan Patrol,” with logos all over it. Twenty-foot tall Fox News banners hung between the columns of Quincy Market, along with, of course, an American flag. Inside the venue, I saw Fox News throw pillows. This only added to my discomfort as Dale and I engaged in one of the most irritating conversations I have ever had in my life.

He shared with me the questions he likes to ask when he meets a woman. “If there were a nuclear holocaust, which three books would you want to survive?” “Describe the relationship between your parents?” Not that he was asking me for answers, but we never got past this one because this is where the debate began. He likes to ask these questions to women basically to determine if they are suitable partners, because he believes that the type of relationship one’s parents have is the type of relationship one will have with one’s partner.

Let’s get this straight again – I had no interest in him and in another universe I would have used my raygun and evaporated the sucker on the spot. But he got me riled up. I hated the presumptuousness of thinking that three little questions, straight out of the freaking Book of Questions nonetheless, could make him decide on the spot whether someone was worth knowing and dating. Where’s the quality of interaction? Where’s the ability to hold an interesting conversation? Where’s the notion that people can change and break out of their pasts? I do not doubt that one’s past affects one’s present. Duh. But not to give people a chance to show that they have changed, that they can change, well, that’s annoying. And not to want to help someone change, well, isn’t that life and partnership? It all just seems incredibly closed-minded, which has greater implications for society as a whole, because as I’ve already established, from the get-go, I really wanted to walk way from Dale. Especially when he pulled the whole, “Oh, you’re going to be a lawyer, you should learn about social psychology.”

But why did I stay and try to engage in a debate with him? Because I wanted to change his mind. People who are wrong and stupid, I want to spend time talking with them. I can’t walk away, but when I finally do, I usually find that I’m angry, frustrated, and feel like I’ve just escaped prison. So no, I don’t know why I do it.

The only other group of people I really want to spend time with, and, like, a lot of time, is people I’ve just met who make me laugh a lot and are really interesting. It’s almost unhealthy how much time I want to spend with them, getting to know them better, right away, because I’m impatient. But I’m a law student and in addition to my legal studies, I apparently have to brush up on some psychology.