Wonder Bread, the whitest of white breads, is coming out with a 100% whole grain version. With the look and consistency, allegedly, of their white bread. I'm tempted to try. Read the label carefully, however. There's a difference between wheat flour and whole wheat. Wheat flour, I think that's what it's called, can be just as processed as whatever it is that goes into white bread (white flour? duh). Whole wheat is what those south beachers or sugar busters or whatever tout. It's good stuff. Especially for staving off hunger, diabetes, etc.
Besides the excitement of trying new old bread, I was excited by this story because "wonder bread" is an expression I use to describe the whitest of white guys. The guy I particularly called Mr. Wonder Bread was a dude who was on the West Point Taekwondo Team, back in the day when I knew of such things and traveled in such circles. He was ... so white. The chiseled chin, the dirty blonde hair, the patriotic streak that brought him to West Point ... Mr. Boy next door ... who eats wonder bread. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. You'd have to see him to get what I'm saying. Because I've ruined it already by 1) going on this long about it and 2) saying he did taekwondo, which is about as not white of a sport as there can be.
Oh, to make my case stronger, he even made some National Geographic documentary about West Point students. I remember he was at a tournament with a camera crew. C'mon. It doesn't get more wonder bread than that.
What the hell AM I talking about? My point is, what happens to my "Wonder Bread white" description now that the bread is wheat?
OK. Sorry. I know. What a waste of space and entropy. I would take it back, but that would only increase the entropy...
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