So fat.

That, my friends, is my broken bed. I broke it yesterday morning, all alone, while sitting down to put on my socks or some other mundane task.

While it's true that the rate of weight gain on my person has been frightening, I must also admit that this bed is about 6 years old. I bought it after I graduated college, for my first apartment. When I left that job and apartment to get my first grad degree, some friends helped me move. When I wasn't looking, they took my entire bed apart. I haven't been able to put the damn thing together since. I have a bag of screws and bolts that look like they belong in Ikea furniture, but I don't think they belong to my bed. So for the last 18 months or so, my bed has been held together with wooden pegs. Like the one sticking out in the picture.

Yes, there are about a thousand different jokes / snide remarks to make. I've made them all in my head and will spare you.

So this leaves me another dilemma. Do I get a new bed, and if so, what kind? I have to get a new bed. I slept in the damn thing last night, all askew like that, and kept wanting to roll off. I feel sort of slanted this morning and am certain that while I sit here typing, I am sitting crookedly, more so than can be attributed to my normal bad posture. Do I get a replacement frame from Ikea or do I get a nice bed because I'm getting older and it's time to stop buying play furniture? I could just get a metal frame, but then I'd have to buy a boxspring, and that costs almost as much as a replacement Ikea bed. Oh what to do?

At least I'm going to my parents' house tomorrow. There, my bed is horizontally parallel to the floor.