Work and The Boyfriend

Life is kinda taking me by storm. I think both work and my personal life are at ... well, both are going through important moments.

Work. Work! Sometimes, I feel like I'm playing dress-up. Sometimes, I can't wait to get out of training and do some real work. And then sometimes, like last night when I went out for drinks for the first time with my co-workers (whom I love love love love! after getting to know most of them last summer), I think, wow, we're all a bunch of childish gossip-hounds and i can't believe the future is in our hands. More or less. We took bets on who's going to be the first to leave. Everyone thinks it's me, including me. My situation is not ideal. Over the last three years, I dedicated myself to one goal. I thought I could fulfill that goal at my current job. Instead, I found out on the first day that I was locked out of my goal, put in a different department. I mean, I can still kinda fulfill my goal, but I'm thinking no more than 50%. The other 50% is probably just going to be filler. Is it going to be enough? I don't know. But not being able to fulfill my goal makes me feel like I'm back in law school, passing time until my real life starts.

My best friend said, put in 3 years, then go do something else. In the mean time, sock away your money, don't drink it all away, and then you'll be fine when you leave in 3 years. I said, if I even tried to drink away my money, I'd die. DIE!

Now, the boy. The boyfriend. Some days, he's great. On most others, I want to kill him. I mean that metaphorically of course.

Two weeks ago, and again this weekend, I'm having to go through the ordeal of meeting his ex-girlfriends. Two weeks ago, it was A, a high school girlfriend, whom he cheated on, but they were never in a serious relationship. They knew from the outset it was only a summer thing. Still, I felt threatened, I guess, b/c she was an ex and he went out to lunch with her one day without telling me. So I was nervous. Turned out, she wasn't that pretty, nor was she that interesting, but she was really nice and respectful.

This weekend, it's J. She's a senior in college, they dated about a year ago, and he broke up with her b/c she was immature and he kinda was into someone else, I think. I definitely get the immaturity. It's still awkward, though, mostly b/c this relationship meant a little more than that fling in the post-high school summer. She's also trying to pull this thing where she's trying to bond with me by sharing inside jokes about the boy. And she's trying to assert her place as the brother's best friend, and telling me that she spent all her time, at some point, at their family house. This I don't like. At one point last night, I think I gave her a dirty look. No, it wasn't dirty, it was more like, I'm not going to go there with you; this is not the kind of relationship I want to have with you; we are not going to be giggly BFFs sharing inside jokes about our commonality, who happens to be my boyfriend. No.

I'm going back there later. I had to be home to receive the table I ordered. I think it's too big for my space, but I guess it's just another in a series of poor decisions I've made about outfitting my condo.