I want you to know. I want you to know a little about what I'm thinking and doing and feeling. The work environment is kind of weird because theoretically, we all know about everyone else's work. I mean, I could go on the server and read people's memos and briefs and what not. And today, the partner I'm working for said something to me and she said, Oh, don't tell anyone I said that. Then I ran into my "buddy" and she was asking me about my project and I had to not repeat what the partner had just told me. And, if you haven't remembered, this is *me* we're talking about here. The queen bee of divulging. So this is all to say that I'm going to try my best to talk about my life without, well, getting fired, found out, or spilling confidential information. Like a tight-rope, baby.
So I had my hesitations about the big firm thing but I have to say that it has been ridiculously good. There's a lot of social anxiety and trying to be on my best behavior and meeting all these people and then trying to learn their names but forgetting or not quite knowing and then just saying, hi. Just hi. One thing I do like about it is, well, I've got great digs, the paycheck can't be beat, and everyone is so freaking nice. The niceness of everyone just makes me want to ooze niceness. Because really, who wants to be the bitch in a sea of XXX people? I'm doing my best not to make everything seem like it's making or breaking my future, but hey, I'm a woman, and as my friend told me earlier, we (I) tend to lend much more importance to lots of things -- first dates, second dates, etc.
Which gets me to my next topic. Boys, meh! I'm having my own little freak out over here, but I'd like to share a few words my fabulously supportive friend E shared with me from the left coast.
* Boys are people too; they are not "love objects." (She meant that in a far less dirty way than it sounds.)
* Like I mentioned above, girls (me) tend to lend more import to little things, and boys are usually on a totally different track. I just need to chill. I am not going to get married in the next six months, or possibly ever, so chill, momma, chill.
* At the same time, honesty has its virtues. So honest I have been, and honest I will be.
I got to hang out with another friend yesterday, and he said something which embodies exactly what I'm looking for. Someone, in commenting about a past relationship, said to my friend that he was "good for" his former partner. And to me, he said, that's nice, but that's not what I want in a relationship; we need to be good for each other Eureka! Things have been good for me to an extent, but I kind of need to be good in return. I think I'm kind of unsure whether that's happening. But to return to E's words (not the love object bit), chill. Momma, chill.
In more mundane news, I have to pick up the writing assignment packets this week. Argh! Gouge my eyes out with a fork and put them in the microwave!
Here's a change of pace. A picture! Of my cousin at Nintendo World in Rockefeller Center. Good geeky times!
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